As you know, I’m a huge advocate for gender diversity and equality. So it’s only fair I should follow-up on my recent article on female orgasms with one to tell you how to really help your man get his rocks off.
Men are no different to us girls – just a bit simpler – haha!
Seriously, whilst the penis is obvious, particularly when excited, the fact is men also have many other areas that are receptive to stimulation, and that help them become aroused and reach orgasm.
Here are some great ideas to help you and your partner on the road to heaven!
Just like us girls, men love being kissed, licked, sucked and nibbled around the ears. Just don’t expect them to admit it – especially the strong silent types. The area around the ear is so sensitive.
The ears are a great starting point to let your man know you are up for it. It gets them aroused so quickly.
I always find nibbling and sucking lightly on the ears, and then running your tongue around the edges and moving slowly down to the neck is a great transition.
It also makes clear to him that you want to be in charge. May men really enjoy being subservient like this – not all the time – so pick your moments and show them who’s the boss from time to time.
Oh, and another great thing about starting with the ears is that you can whisper what you’re about to do to him, & what you want him to do with you. Trust me, that drives men nuts!
It’s location, and the fact this area has so many light touch receptors make it an easy and effective transition from the ears.
Start just below the ear whilst rubbing the back of his hairline. Add some firm touches and dig your nails in lightly. Then include some gentle kisses and let him really feel your breath whilst whispering to him about how aroused he is making you and what you want to do next. Trust me, he’ll love it!
As I mentioned in my article on female orgasms, kissing is so underrated these days – which surprising. I would encourage you to really work on refining this part of your love-making. I have found the dividends are almost endless.
When you move on to the mouth, start with a soft kiss. Then firm up and again make him feel you’re in control by slowly sucking on and softly running your tongue over his top lip at the same time.
Gently run your tongue all around his lips, and add your fingers by softly using the edge of your nail to add some contrast. Slowly withdrawing and sucking your finger will also add some sexual suggestion of the excitement to come.
Some men like this – some don’t. Finding out is all part of the fun!
Try gently flicking the end of one nipple with your tongue whilst squeezing the other gently between two fingers. If you get a response, fine. If not, move on.
The ribs and abdomen
This is also a really underrated part of the male (and female) erogenous zones. There are so many nerve endings in this area – which is not surprising when you think of the number of major organs the area houses – especially the heart.
So, take your time sliding your tongue and fingers along the outline of his ribs and onto his abdomen. Again, this will make them aware you are in control. and it heightens the expectation if you make him wait a little before moving to the genital area.
Use soft, gentle kisses under the rib area and down the sides of the abdomen until you reach the top of their pubic area.
By now you will be very, very aware what he wants from you! But again, it pays to make him wait. Try slowly running your tongue backwards and forwards over the top of their pubic bone.
Now is the time to mix it up a bit – and delay and therefore heighten the sensation – by skipping an area. Trust me, it will drive him crazy.
Instead of going straight to the penis, try gently cupping his testicles. Trust me, he will find this so arousing. You can expect a range of reactions – from a pause in his breathing to a deep and calming exhalation of air. At this point girls, he is very much well on the way, and it is a good time to slow things down a little so as to extend the experience.
Try slowly using your tongue on his testicles and the surrounding area. You will feel it react to the wet, warm and soft touch of your mouth. Believe me, they will be gagging (no pun intended – haha) for you to take their penis into your mouth. But again, it is worthwhile waiting and stimulating this area first.
You can also try sucking on each testicle one by one in soft gentle movements, using your tongue at the same time. Some men like this done firmly – some like it soft – some even like you to gently bite or squeeze their balls – yet others (I must admit, only a few in my experience!) don’t like this at all. It’s a matter of preference – just like with us girls. But hey, as I’ve always said, half the fun of a relationship is exploring these sorts of things. So, give it a go and se what works and what doesn’t.
You may be surprised to learn this is not the most sensitive area of the penis. Rather, the glans (the head) is much more so.
Nevertheless, the shaft can be stimulated in a number of ways, and is often best handled even before you have finished stimulating his testicles.
First, try holding his shaft in your hand and make slow, gentle up and down movements without touching the head of his penis. This is the most common way in which men masturbate – so he will feel right at home!
Then, on one of the up-strokes – I say upwards as a lot of women make the mistake of pulling the shaft down, and this can be very uncomfortable for a man – try using one hand to cup the head. You can also rub it gently between two palms. A little lube can help – some spit works really well, and adds a certain grittiness to the experience that men seem to like. It also avoids having to run to the bathroom to grab a tube!
This is a another really sensitive area. It’s the piece of skin between the base of the scrotum (the sack around the testicles) and the anus. Men just love to have it played with.
Try gently running your tongue up and down it. A little bit of pressure helps stimulate their nearby prostate gland.
If you and your partner are comfortable with this, and they are clean, try going from the testicles to the anus with slow licking or even in circular movements to gently tease and stimulate their anus.
Men are just like us girls in this area, where there are plenty of nerve endings. In the case of men, the entrance to their anus is connected closely to the prostate and even the glans (head) of the penis.
So, its little wonder men love their partner paying particular attention to this area.
If you and your partner are comfortable with anal play, try using your tongue to stimulate him; or try using a lubricated finger or a toy to enter their anus – not too deep now. At about 2 cm inside you should start to feel the prostate. A man can achieve orgasm through his prostate being stimulated. By all means, and in the interests of safe sex, use a condom.
The glans (head)
Now we come to the most sensitive part of all – the head (or glans) of the penis. All the nerve endings meet here. It is the closest part a man has to a clitoris.
AIt’s a good idea to lubricate the penis first. You can use commercial lube. I prefer to use my mouth by gently sucking and using my tongue in circular movements just under the ledge of the head.
If you are sexually confident, then try taking his head and shaft into your mouth and slowly run your lips and mouth down deeper towards the back of your throat. It’s not easy to “deep throat” (as this is called). So don’t think you have to do it.
While we’re on this topic, I should emphasise that it’s one thing to want to satisfy your partner; but it’s another thing entirely to do something you are not comfortable with. My advice is that you should NEVER – I repeat NEVER – do anything you are not comfortable with. And if your partner insists, you should move on babe!
Having said that – as we all know, practice makes perfect. So, if you want to have a crack at this, by all means do. But remember to breath through your nose! And if you gently grip the base of his penis with one hand, you can be sure you can control how deep it goes.
Oh, and don’t forget the eye contact. It is just so important. I recall my all time favourite partner telling me this was the single most erotic aspect of our love-making – he just loved it when I would look up and deeply into his eyes whilst sucking his penis – gently wink or take a moment to smile at him to let him know what he meant to me – and then go down for a little more fun.
So, there we have it dear readers, my take on what I find helps a man reach orgasm. Go get him girls!
Of course, I haven’t dealt with the various positions we can use, all of which help of course. But as these apply equally to men and women, I shall deal with them in my “Oh don’t be shy” series. In the meantime, keep enjoying exploring one another.