The PA raw report

 

A PA’s LEMONADE

This week, Lianne’s on holiday with her family. I’ve had some time to reflect on the past 7 years since I moved from Germany and started working for Lianne in the UK. I’m sure it has everything to do with her returning to my life recently. There are several FB memories from 7 years ago that include Lianne, and then there were approximately 4 years where she and I weren’t connected at all. During that time she suffered major, life threatening surgies and I divorced and then subsequently, fell in love. That relationship ended up being soul threatening, as well. Professionally, I’m comfortable in a supportive role, but personally, I need some sort of equality and that’s where I was self-distructing. Exactly the way Lianne was being when I left her in the fall of 2009.  But as I previously stated, she’s come along way.

It’s the crazy times during that summer that I remember most. The emotional ups and downs and making, ‘lemonade out of lemons’ are what is engrained in my mind. Lianne’s fitness show had just launched and the future was bright. But then one day, she told me that she was going on holiday to Spain with her fiancé, his kids and his parents, as well as, her son and his mate.  I would have some time to focus on press releases, and other work, alone. I couldn’t wait to have a moment to just work and focus on me for a couple of days. That did not happen.  We are talking about Lianne, here. She called me the second day of the trip to tell me she had looked through her fiance’s phone and discovered he was very active in the online dating scene, claiming single. If you know Lianne, you know she went nuclear. The first thing she did was call me for help. I was sent an e-ticket and told an Aston Martin and her driver/body guard had been ordered to pick me up for the airport in 6 hours.

I was at first annoyed then instantly embrassed the situation for what it was. I was going to be flown to Spain to spend a week in a private villa right near the beach and support my friend. I instantly thought, “how is any of this bad?” So off I went. Lianne was in a state to say the least. She took her son and his mate and sorted out a private villa before I arrived. Once there, I constantly did and said stupid ‘American’ stuff which is how Lianne learned to embrasse the trip for what it was; a week in Spain with people who loved her. The only down side to the Spain trip was her ass licking driver had to be there with us. He needed more nurturing than Lianne and he was just the fucking driver! Lianne did fire him after that trip, thank God. We returned home to more madness, which included; locking the ex-fiance out of the house and of course, firing that retarded ass licker of a driver.  The emotional chaos ensued. I eventually left Twickenham for whatever reason and Lianne took work in Austrailia.

She and I came full circle in June of this year when she found herself in Thailand, without professional support. She called me. I was grateful to say the least. And considering my recent emotional ups and downs, I was proud of myself that I instantly reacted with a confident yes. I didn’t know if going to Thailand was best for me or her, what I knew is, it just felt right to go. And that is a trip I’ll never, ever forget. The assisting with certain writing and PR work was one thing, but to observe a ‘Ping Pong’ show and commentate on it, was another. I thought, “Lianne, you’ve really lost the plot now.!”

The show was odd at best and will haunt my dreams for a long time to come. I’m truly grateful for ‘Temple day’, playing with baby tigers and the peacefulness they brought on after such a culture shock of lady boys and ping pongs.  But the response from the Bangkok project has been overwhelmingly positive. I’m grateful to her demands at times, they are what I need without at first realizing. She and the entire trip was very enlightening in many ways and I look forward to making more ‘lemonade’ in the future.

Safe travels 

As I made clear in my earlier article titled ‘Politics of Fear’, the world has definitely changed since I was a kid running around the streets of Bristol. WTF, it has changed in just the last few weeks! 

The use of a motor vehicle as a means of unleashing terror in Nice a week or so ago has well and truly shifted the goal posts in the game of hide and seek with terrorists. The murdering of a priest too, it has no limits.

Hell, it was difficult enough to assess the risk of an attack before. But at least there used to be tell tail signs the authorities could latch onto like the money & equipment & recruitment trails that preceded an old fashioned terror bomb attack.

Hell, not any more. Now, it seems, all they do is throw some nutter the keys to a truck, tell him he’ll be ‘a martyr and one of the gang’ (as distinct from the lonely loser he has always been), and that he’ll have his pick of virgins in the after life, if he takes it for a spin down a crowded promenade! 

I must admit, I find the attraction to virgins in the after life thing is a bit curious. Hey, I’ve heard of the odd dud lay but a a dead lay? Mind you, on second thought, each to his own. And it has been said by others that I did have sex in a cemetery once … so each to their own …

Anyway, my point is that what happened in Nice can happen anywhere and anytime.

So, as we all jet, sail, drive, bus, walk or whatever away on our summer hols, as the fabulously well informed and insightful Contributing Editor for Military Affairs on the Australian Newspaper, David Kilcullen, reminds us – unfortunately, whilst the responses to these new and far broader threats evolve, it’s necessary  for us to consider some basic precautions.

Here is a summary of his suggestions from his recent article that I found thought provoking.

Avoid large public gatherings if you can, particularly crowded venues with limited exit points. And avoid crowded times in airports, shopping malls and train stations, if you can.

If you can’t avoid these, always try to identify where any alternative exit routes are located.

Try to keep an eye out for “hard cover” – ie. solid, immovable objects that can deflect a bomb blast, a bullet or a truck etc… and away from large panes of glass. A lot of the loss of life comes from the follow up explosions rather than the initial assault. Hard cover can save you from that second blast.

Be aware not only of what may happen in the initial assault but also how the crowd will react. People have been crushed in attacks as the crowd rushed the exits at once. So think about where the crowd might move, and how to avoid the stampede as it moves away from the point of the first assault.

Carry a basic first aid kit and a small torch. At the risk of sounding like a train spotter, a headlamp is best as it enables you to work with two hands to free yourself or help others in the debris of an explosion.

If you are not in the immediate vicinity of, and therefore not at risk of harm by the initial assault, stay quiet and low, and make your non-combatant status as obvious as possible to police and security forces. There should be little doubt the security forces have ben directed to shoot first to eliminate the threat, even if this involves taking out a few innocents as collateral damage rather than allow a massive loss of life. So staying low is probably the most important thing, as arms fire will most likely be within a range of hip to head height.

Stay off your mobile phone unless absolutely necessary. Emergency services need to co-ordinate response and rescue efforts. Furthermore, terrorists have been known to use Twitter, text messages and other social media to find people hiding during attacks.

Beyond these direct precautions, there are also some great initiatives worth considering.

Some we might call ‘community led resilience’, such as “Cure Violence, are worthwhile supporting.

Also, given the apparent number of mentally disturbed, isolated and disaffected people who are used in these attacks, think about lobbying your local Parliamentary Member to support funding of mental health and social integration programs. 

And don’t forget, we can also take one very positive and defiant step. We can stand together as neighbours, friends and even strangers in the face of these extremist threats and say – no, we will not bend. We will not allow ourselves to be terrorised. We are strong. Remember, as JFK said all those years ago – “What unites us is far greater than what divides us.”

Oh, and have a great holiday

The emotional eater

TOXIC, MINDFUL FOOD

Food is so important. It carries with it not just nutrients we need to live and thrive; it feeds the soul and our emotions also. Hell, as Paul Simon of Simon & Garfunkel fame has observed – food can be inspirational. He said: “I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called ‘Mother and Child Reunion’. Turned out it was chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one!
But even good food can sometimes be dangerous. It’s not always obvious but how you feel and how you eat can reveal a lot about a person. This raises the issue of the emotional eater.

Just think, how often food goes into our mouths when we have felt emotion – when we’re  hungry, angry, frustrated, upset, excited – you get my drift. Nearly every time we feel emotion, we eat. I can recall many times I have eaten even when I’m not hungry, just because I was stressed or whatever!

So it has occurred to me that if we eat not simply to fuel our bodies but also to fuel or respond to our emotions and thoughts, that might be a problem in this age where food is so easily accessible 24 hours a day. I am concerned that our relationship with food has become an obsession of the mind. And it is much harder to control the mind than the body. 

If that’s the case, then it is even more important that we eat healthily. 

How are we supposed to eat well, when nearly every commercial is about fast food – in summer the ads are all about ice-cream and soft drinks; in winter they’re all about chocolate! Our brains are being overrun by images of foods on the screen or plastered over magazine covers.
And that’s not good for the body or the mind. It’s summer now, and at the same time as advertising ice creams, the media is telling us we have a bikini body ready in 4 weeks….. How the hell are we going to do this??? No chance. May as well abstain from glancing at any media and stay hidden inside, avoiding any sunshine and anyone who might have started earlier, eaten healthily and exercised to achieve the body you dream of!

Because that’s what it’s about. There is no quick fix. It’s about a longer term approach to a healthy mind, a healthy diet, a healthy lifestyle of exercise, and a healthy outlook on life and sex and relationships

Speaking of which, in a relationship with a partner it’s easy to remove their number and eliminate them from fast dial. But we can’t do this with food! We have become slaves to emotional eating and it’s not good! In fact, it’s bloody annoying! It’s even dangerous.

One wag to address emotional eating is to put in perspective why you are eating. Are you really hungry, our are you just eating because you are sad, happy, stressed, horny, whatever? Think about what is your emotional fixation with food. If your life is stressful it is most likely your diet will be stressed also.

Let’s look into the connection between emotions and food a little closer.
Skinny = healthy: Almost all of us judge ourselves harshly. Seriously, we are like food terrorists! Just because you think a full fat cafe latte is bad for you, swapping to a skinny is not going to make much of a difference. Beating yourself up is just going to lead you to replace it with something else. The key is moderation, and stopping beating yourself up and adding to the pressure. Going to war with your body over a few calories will not change your figure. Stop beating yourself up!

Breaking a habit: Weight loss is not going to fast track you to happiness. It needs groundwork – a longer term approach. For it to thrive, just like your relationships, you need to give it attention – you need to nurture it. Be warned this will involve work – both discipline and exercise. Just remember that if your aim of losing weight is to feel better, you may be disappointed. Weight loss does not get rid of emotional baggage. You need to identify and address the reasons for your unhappiness as well as your diet.

Be kind to your body: This may seem a no brainer but many people seem confused by this. Kindness, not hatred, is the answer to combating emotional eating habits. Don’t try to force yourself to be thin. If you force it, you are setting yourself up for emotional turmoil and, u;timely, failure. It will only make an emotional eating habit harder to be rid of – a vicious circle.

Numbing emotions:  I’m sure we can all remember when we watched a tear jerker movie, and headed to the chocolate biscuit tin or for glass of wine for comfort. Food is a part of your thought patterns – there is an association between emotions and food. Your will power needs to step up. So does your planning. According to studies undertaken at Cornell University, emotions that relate to sadness make us eat more. The study surveyed people who watched sad films and images and then fed them different foods. The results indicated a close association between the body’s reaction to sad emotions and the desire to eat something fatty! No more tragic love films ladies.

By grabbing food to combat an emotion, we are doing little else than feeding a habit, and the habit needs to be broken. Food is only a middle man. So, whatever is causing you to over eat needs to be addressed. Just feeling bad about over eating will not address the overeating itself. In fact, feeling bad will fuel the desire to eat more.

Breaking the habit: Explore your emotions by asking yourself questions – like, what made you crave a particular food? If the answer is stress, then explore why are you stressed. And then, ask yourself what strategies you can adopt to address the stress. Maybe consider drinking a glass of water instead to see if this can realign the problem.

All food contains calories. It’s important to understand why we eat and re-programme our minds. eating itself is often not the problem. It is the symptom. We do not need a large dinner plate for meal times. We do not need 3 large meals per day. In fact, six small amounts are better. Our minds have been emotionally programmed that we are supposed to feel hungry at certain times of the day. Only eat when your hungry, and don’t eat until you’re full. Eat until you’re not hungry that’s all.

This will help you achieve the healthy diet you need. Then you can get back get back to thinking how you can improve your life by adopting a longer term approach to achieving the healthy mind, healthy lifestyle of exercise, and healthy outlook on life and sex and relationships you need to lead a satisfying life.

Say it as it is

 

FB_IMG_1458011156433Lianne, what are your thoughts on the apparent rise in the levels of skin cancer in the UK, which is somewhat surprising given the UK’s high latitude and limited sun? And who’s fault is it that there has been  a rise in skin cancer?  

 

Greetings from Portugal, where I am certainly wearing sun cream and covering up. I take it very seriously. The sun can cause severe skin damage, even from limited exposure. Unfortunately, unlike southern European countries, the UK does not have high levels of sunshine. Therefore, when the sun comes out in the UK, people tend to rush out to get as much as they can and develop a health glow. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, there is plenty of evidence that it does us some good – specifically, people benefit from increased in-take of vitamin D in the sunshine. But, as with everything, it’s a case of moderation. As they say, too much of a good thing can …

I reside in Australia half the year. There, we are repeatedly reminded of the damage the sun can cause. And there is plenty of reason why. The statistics on melanoma in Australia are shocking – skin cancers account for around 80% of all newly diagnosed cancers; between 95 and 99% of skin cancers are caused by exposure to the sun; GPs have over 1 million patient consultations per year for skin cancer; and the incidence of skin cancer is one of the highest in the world, two to three times the rates in Canada, the US and the UK.

And we follow the advice, in particular, we are educated to “slop on a shirt, slap on a hat, and slop on some sunscreen” all of the time.

Melanomas are caused by UV (ultraviolet) rays. The rays can damage the DNA in skin cells. Sometimes this damage affects certain genes that control how skin cells grow and divide. If these genes no longer work properly, the affected cells may become cancer cells. Most UV rays come from sunlight, but some can come from man-made sources such as tanning beds.

Even though most moles never turn to melanoma, unfortunately some do. Usually it’s not clear exactly when the DNA damage from UV exposure occurs. Some of the damage may take place in the few years before the cancer appears. But much of it is from exposures that happened many years earlier. Some melanomas can also occur in parts of the body that are rarely exposed to sunlight. These melanomas often have different cell changes to those in melanomas that develop in sun-exposed areas. When melanomas run in families, changes (mutations) that greatly increase the risk of melanoma are often passed from one generation to the next.

Sunbeds and a history of sun burn can cause serious issues even years down the track. New figures produced by The British Association of Dermatologists suggest that 8 out of 10 people are worried about skin cancer. However, it seems people are not taking the advice seriously, over 72% having been sun burnt in the last year!

With more and more of us pale skinned Brits taking holidays in warmer climes, we need to take the matter more seriously.  Sun care needs to be covered in the academic curriculum. Certainly, I never received any education on sun care at school beyond the odd mention to  use sunscreen. Maybe like sex education – they assumed we knew what we were doing!

Plenty of information is available from the medical system but I sense that it and the media could do more to make the population aware of the risks involved and the strategies available to address them. 

Ultimately, however, people need to take on board the advice and responsibility for themselves. In this day and age, ignorance is absolutely no excuse.  

 

I don’t like my mother very much, because she’s kind of an ass.  Huh! Oddly enough, that’s exactly what my oldest daughter thinks of me. My youngest still loves me unconditionally. I like her, but what should I do?

 

This strikes a chord with me. I once never spoke to my  mother for eight years! At the time I felt it was justified. Now we get on really well.

You call you mother an “ass” but you have not said why. Therefore, I don’t have much to go on! I assume it’s some kind of personality clash. It may even be that you are both very similar in ways. If it is something more serious than it could be down to that.

Mothers and daughter have expectations of one another. Mothers want the sugar and spice and all things nice daughter, whilst the daughter wants freedom, a social life and independence. Of course, these two different mindsets are going to have issues from time to time

For instance,did your mother expect you to be different from who you are? Did you go against something she believed in, such as religion, men, drugs, career etc…?

As a daughter, did you expect your mum to be at home all the time to support you; or more grounded; or a non drinker etc? These types of issues often give rise to expectations, rejection and disappointment.

Unfortunately, you have to accept that not everyone gets on all of the time, especially family.

I always suggest talking about how you feel and why you feel the way you do in a calm way is best. This can be difficult but it’s worthwhile persevering. Try to find a good time to sit down or go for a walk together – don’t just spring the discussion on your mum when she’s in the middle of making dinner or on your daughter when she’s doing her homework. Tye timing and setting can be critical to a positive discussions and outcomes.

You need to be calm and assertive. You also  need to be willing to listen and not talk over one another.

It’s also very important to set your own limits of what you are willing and not willing to accept as a parent form your daughter, and vice versa, if things become tense. Sometimes it’s just as wise to take your own advice and walk away as the bigger person until the other cools down.

Time is a great healer. As a parent, just be there when she is ready. As a daughter, try to look for ways to keep the channels of communication open. Often, entrenched positions can become very hard t break down over time. Learn to give a little.

 

Have you gotten over the ‘ping-pong’ show yet; or are you still having vivid nightmares, like me? The tuk-tuk driver’s words in Pattaya, Thailand echo in my head like I’m on some kind of acid trip on Willy Wonka’s boat – “you wa see ping-pong girls?” Not a pretty image at all. Like all possible mishaps with the razor blades or needles being pulled out, they slice through me still. How are you holding up?

 

Hilarious! This is my lovely assistant, Tomera, I take it. I am holding up very well thank you!

Did the experience really damage you? Vivid nightmares? No way. I found the experience entertaining and eye-opening, albeit, yes, a little shocking at times. I have left it where we saw it – in Pattaya. I experienced a ping-pong show, and now I don’t have to go do it again. I must admit I found the razor blades were a little bit too much – so much so that I have treated myself to a new electric razor! I really don’t fancy any more razor cuts….

The “Willy Wonka” comment makes me smile. For some reason, it reminds me of the wonderful third gender “ladyboys” we got to meet and spend time with. I found that experience very touching and enlightening.

I am a true believer in seeing everyone as an equal.Therefore, the way they choose to live (if not harming others) and the ways they choose to make money and support their families, is fine by me.
By reflecting on this more positive experience, I have no echos going round in my head of the ping-pong women – except maybe that one performance of the James Blunt song “You’re beautiful”.

 

Every Tuesday, Lianne at ‘House of Ardent’  will be cover subjects she has been asked over her many years as a sex, relationships and life adviser and mentor. ‘Truthful Tuesdays’ is an opportunity to address any questions you may have about sex, relationships, drugs – anything to do with life, really!

Pussy Galore

lap-dancing-largeSurely, everyone knows that lap dancers and the clubs in which they operate are just after your cash. Really, does anyone out there really think otherwise? Yet the Sun last week published an article about how men are being conned by a London lap dancing club, ‘Spearmint Rhino’. Seriously, how can this be such a big story? It happens every day, and it has been for years. Lap dancing is one of the oldest tricks in the book of cons.

And lap dancing isn’t about to end any time soon just because a rag like the Sun publishes an article that questions the integrity of these sorts of establishments and its workers. Yeah, that’s right. The chances of lap dancing being stopped are about the same level of the IQ of the drunken idiots who get taken for a ride by these clubs and girls – very low indeed!

Having said that, unfortunately, it seems there are any number of men out there who have no idea how much of their hard-earned they will part with in a single encounter with a lap dancer – or, more accurately, they either just don’t care or are thinking with the wrong part of their anatomy – their dick, not their brain!! My advice is to get hold of the bank statement before the wife does! Especially if they end up with a £7,500 bill turning up on it like the poor bastard at Spearmint Rhino!

You may be surprised to learn that I wouldn’t have a problem with my partner visiting a lap dancer, but only if he’d told me about it first and invited me along. Seriously, I have no issue with it, provided it’s all honest and above-board. Having said that, if he was my man in the Spearmint Rhino case, I’d have killed him for spending so much money without me being a part of it!

But back to lap dancers. Seriously, this industry is renowned for targeting weak individuals who fall for the affection a half-naked women. Hey, we all know women have been using their bodies for centuries to get what they want. I don’t have a problem with that at all. Again, provided it is an open transaction between consenting, competent adults.

What makes this particular story interesting is that one punter has successfully sued Spearmint Rhino and achieved an out-of-court-settlement after alleging he was “taken advantage of during his drunken state”.

maxresdefaultAre you serious?! Let me get this straight! A guy gets pissed and horny in a lap dancing bar, has a session with one of the girls he went to see there in the first place, spends a load of dough on said girl, and THEN claims he was taken advantage of!!! Seriously! WTF! It looks like the UK is getting as bad as the US when it comes to ridiculous law suits being brought by idiots who cannot or will not take responsibility for the consequences of their own actions. In this case, we are now seeing that people can sue for their drunken behaviour. Where will it all end? I can see lots of claims such as for allowing one to buy porn over the internet, webcam bills, credit card charges for visiting an escort and so on.

In fact, that reminds me, a few years ago, the Speaker of the Australian House of Representatives actually charged his visits to escorts to his Parliamentary credit card account and then fought vigorously to justify them as legitimate expenses! I suspect he claimed the pressures of his work in Parliament led to him need some form of stress relief!! A classic case of not taking responsibility for one’s own actions.

Trying to claim damages from an establishment when you are drunk and thinking with your cock rather than your head is just as ridiculous. What a load of bullshit. This should never be allowed. Men know exactly what happens in these places and should take everything that follows after entering them at their own expense. If you can’t control yourself and don’t want to pay the piper, don’t go into a lap dancing bar!

In a previous life, I worked behind the scenes at the opening of the first lap dancing bar in Bristol, “Club Creame”. I helped with the PR, recruitment and management of the dancers. Even if I say so myself, I was brilliant at my job. I knew the laws. I knew the rules of lap dancing clubs. And I knew how to keep girls in line. I took on the role with all guns blazing. I just couldn’t wait until we opened; nor could the ladies who had auditioned from all over the country to be part of the new South West of England club.

On the opening night, I had everything sorted right down to the well-managed guest list and music tracks; not to mention the champagne sponsor who had kindly donated cases of the stuff for the evening. I was right in my element. The club opened bang on time, guests arrived on queue, and the red-roped-off VIP section looked fantastic. And, of course, the curtained-off area for the more intimate dances were all sorted.

In fact, everything was running smoothly up until I decided it was time that I could relax and share a champagne or twenty with some of my friends I had invited along. Once again, alcohol and me made for a poor mix. In no time I was hammered and decided I wanted to get naked. I wanted to be the centre of attention. Unfortunately for the girls, I was happy to do so for nothing. Needless to say the owner of the club was not impressed and fired me that night!

My next experience of lap dancing was more positive. I stayed clear of the drink and focussed on making money. I was never suited to lap dancing. I was definitely more of an action girl. I could act on camera doing the adult movies. However, lap dancing left me sexually frustrated. The rule about not touching was there to protect the punter from me, not the other way around!  My opening line to punters was always – “do you want a £1o dance or a £20  dance? When asked what was better (told you men were stupid in lap dancing clubs), I responded the £20 pound one, of course, in so many ways. The £10 pound dance got you 3 minutes of one track song with me dancing about 2 ft away and not really covering too much; whilst the £20 dance had me dancing over you and talking filth in your ear while doing so – a guaranteed erection pleaser! Men just couldn’t resist a woman dancing on them and talking dirty filth at the same time. I made a packet! When the other girls complained that punters only wanted lap dances from me, he took it upon himself to find out why. Afterwards, he simply shook my hand and said well done, “that’s the best dance I have ever had”. That’s how easy it is to make money from lap dancing. Although I only danced for a couple of weeks as I was more an action kind of woman as mentioned above. I found teasing someone else far too frustrating!

I have also been on the receiving end of a lap dance! Personally, I love lap dancing clubs. I think they are great entertainment. I haven’t asked him, but I suspect my present partner hasn’t even been to one. So, I can feel the naughty Lianne may need to come out soon and drag him along for some excitement. Although I’d better check with him first – maybe he has more experience than I sometimes give him credit for. I must admit, sometimes he does very pleasantly surprise me!!!!  In any event, I will certainly treat him better than a previous companion treated me in this context.

Tao-Las-Vegas-Vip-Passes-and-packages-girl-on-girl-lap-dance-500On that occasion, I was shattered after a flight from London to New York to meet someone who owned a school for “squirting” – yes, I mean the vaginal kind! I was there to learn how it worked. I had tried many times in porn movies but had never achieved it. My companion had been trying for ages to convince me that I could do it. On this visit, he was right, it worked! He had also told me he had to fly back to California the next day….so I was to be left alone in New York for a few days…. bastard…

I was over the moon he had finally taught me the technique that had eluded me for so long, and I was in a mood to celebrate. His leaving me on my own was rather disappointing. So, the night before he left, I told him I wanted to go out that evening. He adored women and suggested a lap dancing club. Hell yeah, I was game. I was also happy to help girls make money from him since he used to boast about how much he made.

In the club, I made it clear to a couple of girls that I was happy for them to touch me. Of course, I knew I touching them was out the question. I told them the guy I was with was happy to spend as much money as they wanted to charge him. They suggested we take a private room. Of course, I agreed. The room with two girls cost $2,000. Of course, they also ordered fine champagne by the bottle at a further cost of $10,000. In the course of dancing, they would ‘accidentally’ get their knickers wet from spilled champagne, and that added $100 a time. I’m sure they had around 5 pairs each, so that totalled another  $800 to the bill. And, of course, continuous dances for the pair of us for 2 hours added another $3000. I think the whole bill came to around $16,000! He had to pay it, of course. And it served him right for saying he wanted to go to a lap dancing bar and entertain me no matter what the cost! Leaving me alone in New York cost him dearly.

My point is, everyone knows the rules about lap dancing bars. They are about the girls and the establishment making money. And they will use every means possible. So if you do visit a lap dancing bar, don’t complain afterwards about the cost! Seriously, it’s like Brexit all over again – you know, asking the country to vote at a referendum whether or not to stay in the EU, and then asking them to vote again when you don’t get the answer you want! Seriously guys, toughen the fuck up, accept the situation, have a drink and get over it!