I want to be rich and I want lots of money
I don’t care about clever I don’t care about funny
I want loads of clothes and fuckloads of diamonds
I heard people die while they are trying to find them
I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
Cause everyone knows that’s how you get famous
“The Fear” by Lily Allen
Lily Allen certainly has these lyrics down to a fine art when it comes to seeking celebrity status in the UK. It seems the best way to get famous these days is to fall out of a nightclub half-naked or give out free sex on a reality show!
Some people may find it hypocritical for me to write about women, and occasionally men, exposing their bodies to seek celebrity status. The key differences between me and them are: first, every time I did so was for the express purpose of doing what was required of me in an industry in which I was expected to sleep my way to the top, and get paid well for it at the same time; and second, it was only to be accessed by 18+viewers.
It seems to me that the media may be making it more dangerous for the current generation by constantly glamourising drunkenness and exhibitionism, including gratuitous nudity and public sexual activity.
In turn, this is leading to an increase in the number of people experiencing body, drug, drink and mental issues.
Surely, if so-called artists and reality stars are going to make an exhibition of themselves in such a way, they should make it worthwhile. They should take their role more seriously. Rather than just doing these things to be famous per se, they should use it as a platform to mentor and provide direction for the younger, more impressionable generation. At least this would go some way to reducing the negative effects and address some of the criticism on social media.
I have only been back in the country for a couple of weeks. I am shocked that blown up lips, massive fake tits, drunken escapades, gratuitous nudity and public sexual activity appear to be the norm in British media. I am seriously still trying to work out which, if any, of these so-called artists or reality stars have any qualifications, or even any desire, to offer any advice to encourage and influence positively the younger generation. You know, I mean really educate them on something useful such as self-confidence, respectful attitudes, relationships, meaningful endeavour, hard work and both outer (physical) and inner beauty.
I was absolutely shocked the other day when I turned on daytime TV and saw Katie Price on loose women. I had to look twice to check whether it was actually her or a cardboard and plastic cut out stand in! What the hell has she done to herself? She used to be so attractive. She was heading in the right direction. And now it appears she has destroyed herself. Perhaps most worrying in this regard is that she has seen fit to showcase facial cosmetic surgery as something positive. Frankly, this is a disaster and a disgrace. The odd bit of Botox is fine. But half a face of filler is seriously way too far over the top. OMG, she’s an icon to the younger generation. She is acting as such a poor role model. She should come forward and say clearly to her many fans that she has fucked up!
Similarly, false boobs are one thing. Trust me, I know. I was influenced by an overbearing former partner into believing I needed a stand up pair of oversized boobs if I was to be seen as sexy. How wrong was I?! We all need to come out strongly and say natural is beautiful both on the inside and outside.
In the mid 80s-90s, when I was at my most impressionable, we had artists and models who were recognised for their talents, not only their bodies. We had people like Elle Macpherson. Sure, she was known as “the Body” – but she was much more than that. She was a great role model and a fantastically astute and successful business woman also – she categorically made it clear through her actions and words that it’s both the outer (physical) as well as the inner side of things that counts.
Today, it seems if you are willing to give out free sex by sleeping with a stranger unprotected on a reality show you can shoot to stardom overnight! Some role model that is!!
I remember stupidly taking part in a reality show called “when women rule the world” some years ago. It aired on channel 4. I was lied to about its content and the artists involved. One of the females, Angela, was very judgemental and negative about my professional career as an Adult star. She made a beeline to tarnish my reputation with bitchy comments and put downs during filming. Then, after having made such an unwarranted, uninformed and unjustified attack on me, she went on to have unprotected sex with a complete stranger who turned out to be gay and was using her as a stepping stone to progress his own career. Seriously, what a hypocrite she was. Imagine, putting down me as a porn star for doing my job – one I always did safely, as a professional adult world actresses we were regularly tested, could actually act and knew more about sex education than most teachers. Yet this dumb arse Angela, after putting me down, then herself put it out for free without adopting safe sexual practices! Yeah, what a dumb arse. That makes no business sense and is an insult to the Adult film industry. Worse, it sends such a poor message to the younger generation.
What I find even harder to understand is that some people accept this sort of behaviour on mainstream TV without realising how much it is influencing the youth of today, in particular younger girls.
I find it bizarre that magazines and newspapers promote such behaviour these days as a positive message to younger girls. Seriously, I saw recently a British magazine headline “Vicki Patterson on how to live life” I’m sorry. But what does a 29-year-old reality star know about life, let alone on how to advise on living life?! Surely that’s not right. Yes, she is stunning. But what does she actually have to contribute as a mentor and adviser on life skills
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not being bitchy. I love glamour. And I fully appreciate it at times. And I’d be absolutely delighted if some of these bimbos actually gave some thought to what message they are sending to young girls. Better still, it would be fantastic if they took some training in life skills and mentoring, so they can use their “exalted” positions as artists and reality stars to help others, particularly the young who, for better or worse, look up to them. Otherwise, seriously, how are the orange umpa lumpas from the set of TOWIE supposed to be role models for teenagers? OMG, where will it all end?! I even know some Adult stars who behaved better, have law degrees and would never dream of destroying their bodies with drink, drugs and careless behaviour.
Yes, of course, it’s tempting to think that because you are in the public eye or because you are a star (or think you are) or you are famous, then you have what it takes to influence others positively. Some of them even think this qualifies them to give out advice. Let me assure you, it doesn’t. To the contrary. Without qualifications, experience and some degree of intellect, let alone some element of caring and concern for others, these so-called artists and reality stars are doing so much harm. I don’t see how this can help anyone, let alone vulnerable young people. It is more dangerous than good to offer worthless, and often harmful wrong advice, through celebrity status alone.
People, in particular young people, should be influenced by education, arts, travel, literature, history etc…. They should be immersed in poetry – remember Robin Williams in Dead Poet’s Society – what a fantastic example of how a well-trained and caring mentor can provide so much positive influence, confidence and growth to people.
As with the mind, so the body. Healthy is not about being skinny. It’s about being active, eating well, exercising etc… Yet the young are influenced by so-called stars in a reality show. This is not education. It is not mentoring. It is bullshit. Being qualified, experienced and caring is far more important. Similarly, having free for all sex on TV isn’t sex education – knowing about sexual matters – growing and becoming self-aware in terms of sexuality is sex education!
Similarly, demonstrating and promoting how to set gaols, and how to work hard to achieve them is far more important than mere exhibitionism, in the hope of being “lucky & being discovered”. As has been said by many successful people -“the harder I worked, the luckier I became!
Seriously, these so-called artists, reality stars – perhaps grouped together as “celebrities” need to take responsibility and at least try to stay sober and natural to avoid risking others people’s lives. Hey, with authority and privilege comes great responsibility. Come on, grow up guys and make something positive of the opportunity presented to you.
It took me 15 years to prove I had changed before people were prepared to invest in me. The Hollywood Film Festival’s director wisely told me last year “ You’ve changed, you’re more responsible, you have a better outlook – now I am happy to work with you” .
It took years of hard work, a change of attitude and a change to those around me who were influencing me to find myself and finally accept myself without all the bullshit.
Being natural is beautiful. Being educated is even more attractive. Being a teacher and mentor is sublime. Being privileged enough to have all three, and to be supported by people who care for me is a pure blessing.