Your a great catch, so how come you’re single?

7019541287You’d make a great girlfriend or boyfriend and you know it, others tell you the same. Some may even say you’re the best partner someone could ask for, yet for some reason you’re still single. We all know being single and independent is a fantastic feeling, so why is there a voice inside your head asking you why you’re still single. Why can’t people see you’re a good catch?  You may sometimes worry the clock is ticking and you’re not getting any younger and you don’t want to be left alone for the rest of your life, and of course your family are friends are reminding you, you’re not getting any younger. Right?

There are several reasons that you may still be single, here are some reasons you may not be able to catch your ideal partner…yet.

You don’t believe in settling for second best. Many people feel they are running out of time to find someone special so they settle, this is not you.  You know your ideal partner is out there and you refuse to settle for anything less. There is nothing wrong with this, as long as your expectations are unreachable.

You’re waiting to meet someone worthy of you. You work hard, play hard,have a nice home and are in great shape, so why would you not want to meet your equal. You want someone who has the same attributes as yourself.

You don’t live your life focusing on finding your ideal partner. You simply don’t need a partner to prove you can love and be loved. Yes, you would love a partner in crime, but you also want them to be on your wave length. You have probably already been on several dates or had several relationships, but they were not for you. I have always said, You have to go through them to find the right one!

You’re simply too busy enjoying life. You have holidays booked, work very hard, and have friends to see, where would you find the time? I know a few of my own friends like this…

You’re focused on your career, after all it is 2016. Women are the worst offenders for this as they climb the ladder of success. Then suddenly start panicking around mid to late 30s about the biological clock!

Your friends are just too awesome to spend less time with. Every weekend is about hanging with your friends, and we all know that when you date the amount of time you spend with your friends reduces massively.

Your confidence scares people. I have been told many times I intimidate men with my confidence, and it’s true. My thinking is I may want a man, but I don’t need one! Some men have even told me they were to scared of being rejected so did not bother chatting me up! Unfortunately being confident does have its drawbacks.

You’re focusing on yourself. Everyone knows you should know that to love others you must love yourself first. You want to be in a place where you are comfortable with your life, career, and want to know exactly what you want before sharing it with someone else.

You’re in love with single life, so why would you want to settle down? You have built yourself a good lifestyle and don’t want to give it up or even share it. Or you just don’t have the time because you are so busy with your already busy schedule.

Or it could be simply down to the fact that your just not ready. Why go looking if you can’t offer a fully functioning you. One that is available to give love and not just receive it.

Remember all you singletons out there, if you are looking for your ideal partner then you have to make the time and be available!

Sex, knowledge, and Choclate cake!

What kind of contraceptive do you use for intercourse? Withdraw method, contraceptive pill, diaphragm, condoms, Injection? Whatever it is it implies your having sex. This, or you use it as a hormone balance so you can have sex, right? 

On my travels around the world, you would be amazed how many people from all corners are still scared to talk openly about contraceptive methods. It should be as easy as talking about what you eat for breakfast! I mean, some people just love scrambled egg… secretly hoping they don’t get fertilised.

Years ago, when I took studies to get certificated in sex education and contraception, the topic of unwanted pregnancies was spoken about amongst the girls, and boys in equal measure. Yet, they knew little about contraception, but all wanted sex… 

When I approached the subject about what contraception they used, condoms was the top ranking method. However, most admitted they never used them every time, just most the time! When I asked how they choose what time they used them, the reply was “we use them when we have them on us”. Which raises questions, who’s responsible for buying them? Where do you buy them?, how many do you buy at a time? I mean, imagine people who are having sex every weekend, several times, but only buying three at a time. Kind of interesting, don’t you think? especially if they are resticted to sex only three times! no pressure….

The reason I approach this subject with parents now, is because they don’t know how to ask their children, if they are having sex, when, where, and who with. This is something every parent needs to know and be able to do. As I mentioned in previous article, sex is not about reproduction, its about enjoyment between two people attracted to one another.  Surely, it should be spoken about as easy as what’s for dinner. Surely you would not want people to run out of condoms. People go to the shops and stock up on cereals, soap, hygiene products. But people don’t do this with condoms. Adults, and teenagers alike. Instead they wait until there’s none left and take a risk, hoping they don’t have an accident.

Saying no to sex is much tougher than walking past a cake stand and resisting, no matter how hard you try. Imagine this, your dying for a cake, tou can smeell a fresh baked cake, you just have to have one. You promise yourself no cakes and its totally on your mind, you really, really want one. You resist until you cant resist aanyore, after all its only one cake. Then you give in, feel a little guilty, but its ok, it’s  just one cake the guilt will go. Once you do this with contraception, it will happen again. Either this or you have to be really excited and not want to do it. Or you have to be depressed about not being able to do it. This is why everyone needs to look at contraceptive behaviour in the real way..nd make it as ordicanry as talking about whats for dinner.

Adults getting  educated on contraception is one of the best things you can do. It mKes it alot easier to talk about chocolate cake and sex over a chat. Not being able to talk about it causes all kinds of  problems from STIs, unwanted pregancies, self destruction  and guilt. I’m sure you would rather discuss the enjoyment of sex with your partner and children, unless you would rather discuss the details after.

And remember, just handing over condoms  without a chat is like giving some one address to head too with no map!  Stay tuned for my next article on HOW TO TALK ABOUT SEX.

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