Why I advise porno to couples in therapy.

4liestheytoldyouaboutsexthetruthshallsetyoufree-couplewatchingporntogetherMy openness to talk about pornography offends a few people, I know it’s a subject that gets a lot of people worked up one way or another, but the fact of the matter is  I am happy to talk about it and will keep doing so, its my job as a sex expert. Now I can talk statistical facts and discuss research that has been conducted and bore you to death, or I can tell you how it really is, the real facts of pornography from both sides of the fence and why I advice couples I help through therapy to feel comfortable watching it together.

How is prnography supposedly disrespectful to women?  I have known many so-called innocent women that have at one point in their lives been on their knees sucking a guys penis, so how is porn any more disrespectful to a women? Why is it viewed as only disrespectful for a woman, not a man? A man on his knee licking a vulva, is that disrespectful to men, being treated like a sexual object. The whole think about pornography being disrespectful to women is based on the idea that the woman’s sexuality is not something to celebrate,  and that somehow it’s in bad taste. Women sucking a man’s penis, men sucking a woman’s vulva, people tongue kissing, all the stuff that you see in pornography is happening in loving relationships.

Many people ask me, How do you think porno helps a couple’s sex life? Or Does my partner find the girls on-screen more attractive than me? Let me get two things straight, yes- I do believe it helps couples by opening up the communication barrier, and no- your partner does not find the girl on-screen better than you.

When people look at sexually explicit material, they do so for a reason. They do it to get off, that’s the only reason. If people don’t want to get hot, they don’t look at porn. What people see when watching pornography is a vision. Most people don’t look like the women on the screen, and neither do most guys have a 14 inch penis.  In porn people see a world of eroticism where nobody says no. There’s enough penis, enough breast to go around for everyone. There is no baby crying, phone ringing, no laundry to be done and no dirty dishes. People watch porn because they get a temporary hot fantasy of a world of sexual abundance.

When a guy looks at a perfect women in porno, what they mostly see is NOT a perfect woman’s body. What they see is a woman who’s comfortable with her body, and happy doing her job. They appear enthusiastic about sex and that’s what they wish they had more of.  Making pornography all about attitude and not looks. Some may think the world is mostly filled with decent, dignified and innocent people, and there is a waste pipe somewhere in porno valley in Los Angeles that is spewing out ton of crap that nobody wants. But somehow or another billions is spent on the stuff.  I think it’s time people realise that it’s mostly the innocent, decent folk who are watching and spending money on pornography.

Porn is about people watching smiling, happy people doing stuff that happy smiling people do, if they’re lucky.  Its complete nonsense when it says it encourages rapes and sexually motivated attacks. There is around 40 million people each day watching porn, that’s 40 million not going and committing anti social acts. If everybody who viewed porn went out and raped somebody, the whole world would come to a halt. The truth is that the overwhelming number of people who consume and enjoy sexually explicit materials never behave in an antisocial manner.

This is why I advise couples to enjoy pornography and to learn form it, to enjoy it. Who knows maybe the laundry, the dirty dishes and housework can wait well you give each other a smile.