Vagina Rejuvenation -A facelift for  the vagina

img-20170923-wa00011571363239.jpgOver the last 20 years cosmetic surgery has risen at a substantial rate for both men and women who are wanting to maintain their youthful appearance, yet there is one area that provides both sexual and emotional satisfaction for women which is being ignored. The female sex area is one place that needs to be looked after and maintained just as much the outside exterior and not just by grooming. The vagina plays an important role in a female’s life as it provides many things such as emotional balance, emotional and sexual pleasure and reproduction.

As we age the outside body shows signs of sagging and so does the inside. Many women don’t think about their inner self until something goes wrong, when in fact we should be maintaining its ageing process just as we do the outside.

I was introduced to the CO2RE Intima Laser machine for Vaginal Rejuvenation by Dr Giorgia Ratta who is one of the top female cosmetic doctors on Harley Street. She explained that it is the ideal solution for a comprehensive treatment for internal vagina canal and the outside of the vulva area treatments. Dr Giorgia Ratta  explained that many women suffer from several conditions which affect the inner vagina such as collapse of the bladder into the vagina or the bowel collapsing into the Vagina. Birth is also a major experience that can leave the inner vagina with loose tissue-vagina laxity which can affect intercourse and urinary issues. It is reported that urinary incontinence between young adults is 20-30%, middle age 30-40% and elderly 30-50% showing that this is not just an issue for elder people. Menopause is also a contributing factor which can leave many women feeling unattractive which leads to sexual confidence issues as the vagina can dry up and make sexual intercourse painful, this is known as Vagina Vulvar Atrophy or Atrophic Vaginitus.

Dr Giorgia Ratta said “There are many women unable to take HRT during menopause who would really benefit from this treatment, this treatment is what women have needed for some time, women want to feel youthful both on the inside and outside and this is a much better overall than the risk of undergoing surgery, this will provide long-lasting rejuvenation and provide relief from many health issues”.

Being a woman like myself who exercises everyday and performs more squats than hours of the week, I told her I wanted proof to see for myself if this treatment really works. Not wanting to take up the offer of my own vagina rejuvenation I passed the opportunity over to my fellow Counsellor Kelly Berg to embrace, Kelly said she is more than willing to embrace this opportunity as she has had a child and is now  in the age bracket where peri-menopause can happen at anytime and as she cares for the outside appearance she wants to know how to feel youthful on the inside.

Suggested treatments are x 3 spread apart by 6 weeks. Down time after the procedure is 3 days and intercourse should be avoided for 7 days.

Kelly will have her first appointment this Sunday 1st October with Dr.Giorgia Ratta at the Aesthetic Skin Clinic in Kingston Upon Thames. We will be providing a step by step interview of the procedure . If you require more information on this procedure or other cosmetic treatments please contact Dr Giorgia Ratta;

Cosmeticfinal

 info@drgiorgiaratta.com, www.facebook.com/DrGiorgiaRattaCosmeticClinic/, www.instagram.com/dr_giorgia_ratta/, https://twitter.com/drGiorgiaRatta

Porn Star “Shame”.

18253011_242893732853830_6204870747802828800_n“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”

Once again, the headlines feature high end escort, Valerie Fox making accusations of assault against a celebrity while under the influence of alcohol. Her previous headlines were around accusations against British Politician Nigel Farage and them “not joining the mile-high club”! It’s almost as confusing as her Instagram name “VeggieGlamBabe” seen she likes meat a lot more than she says she does…

On this most recent occasion, the police are taking it no further. However, yet again, apparently baseless accusations by a porn star have tarnished the Industry.

Such allegations via the media affect the British Porn industry in many ways. Most notably, and unfortunately, people don’t simply see the headline & think – “oh it’s just her again. Rather, they associate the entire porn industry with her latest alleged misadventures. Let’s apply this latest headline to another industry – banking. When Barings bank went down it was because of one man’s illicit trading. Everyone else in the sector (ok, most of them!) worked diligently & honestly – & yet they lost their jobs when the bank went down. Starting to get the picture of my beef with these most recent misadventures involving Ms Fox?

Models enter the porn Industry for the money – there is no doubt about that – otherwise, they would pursue their sexual appetites behind closed doors with like-minded people and not in the public eye.

It is common knowledge that once you have gone public having sex on film you can’t turn back the clock. It us equally well-known that it is even harder to stay at the top.

Nevertheless, models who become porn actresses do have the chance to have a long-term career, if they don’t chase fame.  Take Ella Hughes, for instance – an all round business women as shown recently on BBC.

However for most, once they become notorious, it can lead to negativity – not to mention long-term mental issues, as they turn to raise their profile as “celebrities”, so wanting – even needing – to be recognised in the lime-light.

Unfortunately many models think of today and not tomorrow. This leads to many issues such as the eternal need for attention, aswell as financial gain, mental health issues and addictions, all of which will only be resolved with counselling or therapy.

Of course, much of society believes the porn industry damages women. And the antics of Ms Fox simply re-inforces the stereotype.

Actually, I disagree with that stereotype, as I believe most porn actresses have issues well before entering the industry, and it is a form of escape for them.

It is when they leave the industry that these issues really come back to bite them.

Now don’t get me wrong, I should feel sorry for Valerie as she allows herself to be portrayed as a victim. Unfortunately, I don’t. I have worked in, and beside other participants in the industry for over 20 years, and now continue to do so a Counsellor. In this period, I have known a number of victims of mental and physical abuse and they were left so traumatised that the papers were the last place they went – let alone shopping the very next day!

Having a colourful life as an ex-porn star and a hooker is fantastic if you enjoy it. But don’t for one minute think the newspapers are going to hide your past as you sell your story to them. Believe me, the media is only interested in what sells more papers – they have no personal interest in you.

Making accusations for your own self-promotion can adversely affect many people, well beyond the people involved who have families & careers at stake – not to mention the broader adult industry as a whole. And the damage such accusations causes cannot be easily rectified.

If there is any truth in the accusations, don’t go to the press. Take yourself to hospital and the police, and have the issue dealt with it in the right way. And do so for your own sake, not to gain media attention.

Seriously, porn stars – whether former or current – tend to be bracketed in the same way in the public eye. So if one porn star allows herself to be seen as victim – especially if the seek to be seen that way – everyone in the industry is tarred with the same brush. Think about it – if one industry participant does drugs, the image of the entire industry is seen the same way. Yes, one glaring and apparently false accusation of assault by one model, labels all adult actresses as untrustworthy.

My advice is make a business plan for yourself before entering the industry; don’t mix business with pleasure; and don’t think you will have long-term fame and money as they rarely go together with anyone that works in pornography.

If you want to talk to someone about any of these issues, in particular how to best transition from the adult industry, feel free to contact me for counselling or some advice on the best way to do so.

In the meantime Ms Fox – as Winston observed – it may be time to put your pants back on!

Female legs with black shorts

How to educate your child about pornography

Boy Or Man, 1962I was aware many years ago through my own personal experiences that porn was going to become a problem for children when the internet exploded. Knowing I had the experiences and information I hold is why I decided to do something about it and become educated in Sex, Law and Policy, Addictions and Sex Education, little did I know I would become a female Pornographic expert.

Sex education in schools is below what is needed and it is a huge problem concerning underage access to pornography, it is a subject area teachers are going to have to deal with, and of course parents. Which is why many years ago I spoke to several organisations asking if I could help them learn about the rising issues around pornography, unfortunately I was ignored and the only people who were pleased I had come forward was The Family Planning Association with who I took some educational short courses.

Of course, and I hate to say it, but I was right when I predicted it was going to be a bigger issue than they first thought as now it is an epidemic. Many education boards have at last woken up to the fact that children need to be educated on pornography and not just the reproduction of sex, they also hopefully have jumped on board and now understand it is necessary to educate children on recreational sex. The thing is we cannot tell children to avoid something we all know is enjoyable and not give them a reason why as ignorance is a bigger problem than watching porn itself.

The problem in society is the lack of discussion about pornography and of course sex itself. How can anyone educate a child about sex acting if they are avoiding learning how to talk about it themselves. I have the experience, knowledge and education to be able to help parents, education boards and parents understand pornography which I do in many ways such as seminars, workshops and counselling. Below I give tips on how every parent can deal with the issue of pornography and how you can to talk to your children about it.

motherlode-teen-porn-superJumbo

Tips for parents

First things first, sex education should start at home and not left to the school to deal with. One teacher to every 30 children in a classroom is more of a comedy show than an educational one when talking about sex. How many of you put a hand up when the teacher asked if anyone had any questions after your sex education class, I guess very few, if any, so understand your child is probably doing exactly what you did.

The moment your child asks questions about where babies come from, or why people are kissing on-screen is the time to openly answer questions they may have around sex and you need to be prepared. You don’t need to go into deep conversation about porn, or even sex for that matter but you should definitely not avoid the subject. This is also not a time to get upset, angry or disappointed either, use this opportunity to have an open and honest talk with your child.

They normally start asking questions around 4 -5 years old and this is when you can start to explain what is acting and what is real love, unfortunately you may also have to explain to them at this age that Barney the purple dinosaur is also not real either, trust me they will get over it.

With my own children, when they used to giggle at people kissing on TV ,I used the opportunity to ask them why they were giggling at the sight, they answered because kissing leads to sex. This is when I turned the tables and asked them what they thought sex was and then I would correct them on the things they had wrong. It would end up as an open conversation on what was real and what was not. 

Of course not every princess has to kiss a frog to find her prince, so don’t mislead them on relationships and emotions.

The hard truth

Now for the reality shock… your child is learning how to perform sex from pornography and this is also where they are learning sexual words, sexual positions and to find out how to be a good lover. Take it from myself it is not emotional sex, it is just acting and not one person can perform like they do on camera continuously in life. Sex on film has no emotions and real sex does. Real (normal) sex is more about mental connection than performance and this is why pornography is a performance oe acting and this is how it should be explained to your child.

When to educate about pornography

The average age a child first watches pornography online today is around 8 years old, sometimes younger. It’s not that they are typing the word porn into a computer or searching for it, it’s the technology world we live in today and a simple mistype can bring up images involving pornography, in fact I know many young boys who simply write the word boobs into the google bar and they get flooded with all kinds of x rated images.

This is the reason I advise parents to cover pornography talk the same time you cover the sex talk, seriously you cannot talk about pornography to early when you are giving your child access to computers and technical devices.  No matter how much you think you have parental control over devices your child especially teenagers are more tech savvy than you are unless you are a tech expert. This is also the time you should explain that over 18 material is exaggerated and sometimes extreme and this is why only adults can watch it.

If you talk openly like this and explain that if they do see some form of explicit material they should tell you, at the same time make it clear they will not be in trouble and that you just want to make sure they have not been affected by it. It is a good idea to explain that Jason Statham does not really go around beating people up in real life and that Billie Piper is not really a call girl!

Your child knows more than you

Trust me when I say you do not know as much about this subject as your teenage child, of course younger children do not know too much yet, but realise there is going to be a time that they do so you need to understand that your child has, or will, access or encounter more explicitness in the stuff they see online and amongst friends than what you tell them so there is no need to be embarrassed. Use this opportunity to explain the basics of pornography and be as straight forward as possible and depending on how old your child is you can go more in-depth.

It really is your choice, it’s you or the playground they will learn from and I advise they learn from you so they have accurate and true facts. You have to remember your teenager most likely has not been educated on values and emotions in sex and relationships, they are educated about respect, good manners and certain ethics but they are not educated on how to behave during sex, so talk to them.

You also need to explain about the emotions we feel during sex, the arousal and desire stages when your child is able to understand them .Children also need to learn about sensitivity, empathy, honesty and all the other emotions that happen in everyday relationships, it’s about educating your children the same way as you educate them on everyday life situations and help them do the right things.

And remember girls like sex just as much as boys.

Sites to visit

Here are some listed sites I feel with help you understand the importance of covering the subject of pornography during the sex talk you have with your child.

www.fpa.org.uk

http://ideas.ted.com/tag/sex-education/

www.makelovenotporn.com

 

If you want to understand more about online sex and the world we live in around pornography and censorship then I recommend the book by Jerry Barnett:

https://books.google.co.uk/books/about/Porn_Panic. Or follow his social media page on

https://www.facebook.com/pornpanic/

Porn effects on a child’s brain

The world is now a place where everything is available at the click of a finger, where ignorant parental control is high, and teenagers are given a iPad to keep them quiet and now nearly all children have mobile phones and can freely access the internet. It is estimated that around 80% of 13 year olds have watched pornography and in some cases children as young as five.

Pornography does more damage to a child’s brain than that of a adults simply because they are still developing and and are not educated about emotions. Pornography changes a teenagers perspective on the way they think and look at relationships and it can easily turn to an addiction.

iphone-parent-controls

 

Memory and thinking

A child’s brain is developing right up until adulthood and as they are born with no images, information, memories or anything programmed into their minds they find alot of information to help them from the internet. When they develop they are simply learning as they go along in life, they are given the simple instructions of life and are taught right from wrong yes,  but most adults are unable to talk about emotions with teenagers as they are also not educated on emotions enough, if at all. Children and teenagers are often told they are too young to understand emotions or told off if they raise thier voice, get mad or cry. Not providing children with an understanding that crying, anger, upset or any emotion is a natural feeling is as bad as letting a child learn for themselves. Unfortuantly this is happening more often than not.

Pornography on a teenage brain

Children watch pornography which releases chemicals in the brain and for many they will feel aroused for the first time, which of course is an enjoyable experience. The hormone that is released is during this time is called dopamine and it is responsible for memory, mood, attention and pleasure which is activated when someone experiences pleasure. Pornography is arousing  to teenagers and it satisfies their sexual urges which is why they watch as much as they can, as this goes on the brain needs more dopamine and this is where an addiction to pornography can begin.

hqdefault

Relationships

Pornography has a place in society for over 18s  who understand sex, arousal, desire and relationships, the very things minors don’t. They probably first watch porn because it’s fun to break the rules, then they get pleasure from it and think it’s the way sex happens in real life relationships.

This is where the brain acts on desire and arousal and not education and it builds a false understanding of sex and relationships. I am asked by many adults and media professionals how I know so much on this subject, when I tell them I was an adult actress from the 90s they stop listening, which is exactly where the problem begins. People, especially media need to understand the best education on reality v fantasy of pornography is from someone who has experienced both sex acting and real sex. I believe parents and education providers need to be educated on the very subject they are telling their children not to look at, after all it’s not ever going away.

Teenage addictions

When children watch pornography repeatedly they receive something known as a chemical bath, this is when the brain can’t produce the amount of chemicals the brain needs for pleasure. Repeated watching of pornography can lead to them not being sexually aroused by normal sex acts and they have to look for other ways to get their pleasure. This is a serious worry as they may access sites which are much worse than simple pornography and may have violence and dominance involved. This can lead to personality disorders and sometimes worse a growing desire to act out what they see on screen.

Pornography shows people with great bodies and this can affect a teenagers perception of how they are meant to look and with teenagers easily influenced by what they see on-screen or in the media they can easily develop confidence issues. This is the same crucial stage the body goes through many developing stages as they grow from teenagers to adults and this can lead to eating disorders. This is the stage they need to be educated on what is fantasy v reality.

Ignoring the discussion of pornography and trying to sweep it under the carpet is not going to help, in fact it will cause more damage than good. My advice is to accept it is in our world and always will be, understand its place in society and research the correct information you need to educate your own children and not pass the buck to the educational system.

Written by;

Pornography expert and Addictions Therapist

Lianne Young