Dating, lianne young, life

How to have peace and harmony in your relationships

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Relationships have ups and downs and as we all know they can be more than difficult at times, so what are the answers to a blissful relationship? The answer is there is never a perfect relationship and it’s about learning to manage the difficult times and understand how to be happier in them.
Relationships come in many forms such as friendships, lovers, work colleagues, family and everyone in between. At one stage or another one of these relationships is going to be struggling and you will feel like you are head butting a brick wall, the communication breaks down and all of a sudden your perfect relationship goes from good-to bad-to disastrous. No matter who we are it happens to all of us.
At some point you will clash heads over something trivial with someone and it’s at this points you need to follow these simple tips.

Learn to relate to the other
A successful relationship is defined by two people who know how to communicate and have learned to relate to one another. Having things in common with others is one way of doing this, by common I mean someone you need more harmony with. The most important thing to remember is that relationships need both sides to be able to relate to the other and once you realize this, and learn to understand the other person, then you start to relate to the other person.
Obviously this takes work on both sides and no one said relationships were easy. Relationships of all kinds takes a lot of effort and you should never stop looking for ways to relate to your partner.
It’s about meeting each other halfway.

Don’t hold anything in
Problems in any relationships will manifest inside of us if we do not speak up and this will make a situation multiply. If you hold a grudge and hold it in, trust me one day it will explode. When this happens not only is it dangerous for your relationship it is dangerous for you too, and counterproductive to your quest for peace. This is when you have to realise no one is perfect.
Every relationship has is squabbles at times and using the words FINE does not mean you or your partner is fine by any means. The word FINE can mean frustrated, insecure, neurotic or exhausted and its down to you to find out which one it is.
If you find yourself answering FINE then look deep inside of yourself and ask what is really bugging you and get it off your chest.

Times you need to hold it in
Ask yourself before starting an argument “in ten minutes will it really matter, or even in 10 months?” The answer will most likely be no, therefore don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. You need to learn to pick your battles wisely in any relationship.
Fighting in a relationship takes up a lot of energy and time and will ruin your own peace and that of others. You need to ask yourself is the fight really worth the fight? If it is over something trivial just hold it in and take a deep breath. If it frustrates you so much that you have to say something then try saying ‘I am frustrated because.’ Just remember not to be rude or offensive.

Communicate effectively
In any relationships it is about communicating effectively. Just telling someone to communicate better is not effective, you have to choose your own words to communicate better. If you have been with your partner a while maybe you have slacked when it comes to talking to one another in a polite way. Instead of please or thank you, you simply say ‘pass me this’ or’ I want’. This will help no relationship.
The difference is you have got used to one another and the pattern has changed in how you communicate, and this in turn changes your partners response. To feel empowered again and to attract a better response take charge and start communicating positively and healthy. It also helps if you use a soft tone as this will be how they respond. It’s about using a logical approach.

Open up
No one is a mind reader in a relationship and it takes feelings and hard work from both sides for a relationship to last. No matter what you are talking about with your partner you need to be honest and open and don’t be afraid at being vulnerable. When you overcome hurt with a lover or friend, your bond will instantly deepen. If you want your relationship to last the long haul then you need to be honest with yourself and with your partner. You also need to acknowledge your partner’s thoughts and feelings and learn to see their point of view, and love them for who they are.

remember its nice to be important, it’s also important to be nice.

For more great articles on sex and relationships visit www.houseofardent.com

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