Adult performer Kitty Catherine 25 has sadly passed away. The industry is in shock and shattered by the devastating news and APAG have stepped in immediately to offer help, including myself as a qualified counsellor for Industry workers. As many share their sadness on social media it has become apparent that many are deeply affected and not sure how to handle the news and end of life itself.
It is during these times we must accept that a loved one, colleague of someone you know dies suddenly and can leave you with overwhelming emotions. Grief is heart wrenching and will have you asking questions and searching for answers. You do not need to do it alone.
Hearing the news today as many of you woke up would have left you with many emotions including:
Shock-Disbelief and numbness
Anger- Angry because you missed the signs
Guilt– You may be saying “what if” or blaming yourself
Despair– your gripped by sadness, loneliness and helpfulness
Confusion- You will try to make sense of it or try to understand why they choose to do this
Rejection- why did she not talk to you,
These feelings can last for weeks, maybe even months, you may have flashbacks and suffer loss of interest to many activities-especially work.
HOW TO COPE
The effects of someone passing is emotionally and physically demanding and as you work though it you need to be careful to protect your own health and well being.
Stay in touch– Reach out to loved ones, friends and APAG union for comfort and surround yourself with people who are willing to listen. Remember you need to talk and it can be a shoulder to cry on.
It’s your grief your way- Do what’s right for you and don’t compare your grief to another. There is no right or wrong way to grief.
Be prepared for painful reminders- You are going to go through the memories of how you knew the person, please don’t feel guilty for mourning and providing compassion and empathy to yourself. Losing someone is not easy.
Don’t Rush- Healing takes time, it’s a total blow when you hear tragic news of someone passing no matter what the circumstances. Don’t rush it, and don’t let anyone else hurry you.
Seek Help when needed- Seeking professional credited help is important if you feel you cannot cope and feel yourself slipping into depression. If you don’t deal with grief it can turn into complications and long lasting emotional troubles.
You are most likely waiting for answers, quite frankly you may not get all the answers and will always wondered what happened. I can assure you eventually the intensity of grief will fade and the tragedy will not be such a shock, this is a time to unite as well as make sure you look after yourself.
APAG union is here to offer support and specialised services alongside myself a fully qualified accredited counsellor and former adult actress from 18 years ago.
Pornography does, and always will have stigma around it, trust me I know. Yet- let me reassure you it does not have the highest suicide rate amongst other industries and far from it, in fact it is one on the smallest. The main signs to look out for in someone who may be suicidal is hoplessness, sadness, extreme calmness, insommnia, withdraw, changes in personality or appearance, self harming, recent trauma and threatening suicide. If you see these signs please reach out for help to them directly or notify the union so it is brought to someone’s attention.
JUDGMENT AND SOCIAL MEDIA
Remember others will always judge you and others no matter what area of work you are in, it is down to you how you react. Let them own their judgment as it does not pay your bills and it lives within them- don”t let it live in you. Stay safe and provide a duty of care to your co workers. As you may have been told when you were younger, “If you have nothing nice to say don”t say it at all”.
People will throw stones at you, Don”t throw them back, Collect them and build your empire.