STORMY Daniels cost CBB by refusing to enter the house two hours before it goes live.

Stormy Daniels had arrived in the UK ready for her appearance on Celebrity Big Brother after long negotiations Welcomed on arrival by the wet, moist British weather, something similar to what she has experienced many times before on set I am sure.

“Hurricane Daniels” is the name I have given her after months of negotiations, ups, downs and change of mind more times than the world financial exchange rate.. pulled out 2 hours before the show was due to go live on UK television costing the channel an enormous amount of money.

I was asked in April of this year if I could contact “Stormy” and ask if she would consider appearing in this years CBB in August. Having worked beside the Adult industry for some 20 years I knew I could take this on, however I expressed my concerns from the start.

I knew it would not be easy especially with her having sucked Donald Trump in 2006 and becoming somewhat of a celebrity for it, however hard work is what I thrive on.

I’m also experienced well enough to know you can ask a top adult actress about business in the hope they will listen to you, if they don’t trust you then the door will be slammed in your face before negotiations can even start.

I work very closely with Stormy’s former friend Alana Evans who is a true professional of the industry, therfore I had no doubt stormy would undoubtedly be the same. After all who would break two legal contracts amongst such high publicity.

Unknown to me Stormy would.

A brief chat in May introducing myself to her I found her an easy women to chat with on the phone , she sounded intelligent and business like, 30 minutes later I am introducing TV agent and Stormy to start negotiations amongst themselves. I was delighted that I had tracked her down to one spot and her making time in her diary for a scheduled call with me.

The following months were not that easy, she changed her mind on the first offer of £750,000 (I use the word work loosely) for a maximum of 3.5 weeks work…. Reason being she has a book to release the end of August back in the USA.

It was eventually negotiated after lots of hard work that she would complete one week as a house guest for £200,000. Obviously it’s not as easy as just signing on a dotted line to seal the deal like others, it’s television and all kinds of paperwork and checks are involved. I know first hand this was a bloody nightmare to get her to complete and left the deal still not completed one week before the show, giving myself, the TV channel and the agent a near heart attack. . Then in true diva style she threats to pull out 12 hours before boarding a flight, throwing not only the show but everyone who has worked so damn hard on it into a meltdown, including me.

I’m lost for words on her behaviour…. I’ve never worked on a business deal like it.. Not even in the Adult industry. The last deal I remember being anything remotely near this bad was when I performed in Sex Survivor 2000 for playboy.

Fast forward to today, she arrives, does the PR video introduction for the show and all required photoshoot material ready for the launch at 9pm. I can now reveal she pulled out at 7 pm two hours before the show went live after suddenly loosing herself in a unbelievable tantrum for no reason, speculation is that it could be related to intoxication, medication, exhaustion or drugs–that can be the only explanation for her sudden change of character and abusive behaviour towards the CBB team. She was to be the star of the show–she was to be given the platform to take control and earn herself a new reputation and mainstream career. One has to ask why did she take the first class flight provided by Channel five in the first place? After five months of negotiations and giving people the run around what was her mission? If it was to prove she breaks more contracts and that her word cannot be trusted then she has concreted this in style. So much so that she has convinced top agents around the world never to want to work her.

People assume Adult stars can be high maintenance, this I don’t deny as some can, however it is only a small percentage as the rest are easy to deal with. Trust me, 20 years of experience I know.

I have flown back from the middle east for the show and to make her feel welcome, I have spent so much time on it and had many sleepless nights because of the Stormy Daniels media circus.

Is all my hard work done, no way as I have to pick up the pieces of many professional people’s trust and rebuild relationships with media that she has ruined. I will be passing on reports to industry leaders and magazines on both sides of the ocean, I hope everyone sees that even by risking the chance on her could cost them dearly.

I will not let her walk out the show and just walk away, she has no idea who she is dealing with when taking on someone like me. -after all I am British and proud of it. I spend a quantity of my time helping young women transition, trying to convince the media that adult models are not just a reflection of a lost soul and the Adult industry does have real business women. In my opinion the Adult industry made her, invested in her alongside my self and others and unfortunately now she is a women who can’t be trusted.

Being aware of unreleased details surrounding this case I will add to the blog in due course. Information has emerged which I feel is in the public interest.

The Katie price negative effect on young women

Screenshot 2018-08-05 at 09.11.22Katie Price has made a bizarre revelation she has intentions to make a sex tape only months after she posted a video online of herself appearing to educate teenage fans on explicit subjects in the street asking if they learnt more from her than their teachers.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/6111241/katie-price-video-sex-talk-13-year-olds/

Recent rumours circulating that she has plans to make another sex tape has not surprised many-even after she was investigated for revenge porn earlier this year involving Alex Reid.

The reality if you make a sex tape and when it gets out (and you should assume it will), it not only affects you, it affects your family, your friends, your acquaintances and the rest of your life and Katie should not be advertising this to her young fans. Katie needs to wake up and realise the negative impact she is having on teenagers and young women.

Her loyal fans follow her every move and it’s natural for them to think that tomorrow is another day and everything they do today will be fine tomorrow-however this is far from true in Jordan Land. What they choose to do today will affect their tomorrow, and the day after that, and the one after that too – forever. Before they know it,they will be 30 or 40 years of age, and will still be living with the consequences of the choices they make today.

Not everyone has the ability to survive the abuse and insults making a sex tape will bring and no celebrity should promote it as a way to gain more popularity,  this is why I am so passionate that every young girl should understand the effects making a sex tape could have.

Katie has sunken to an all time low to try to keep herself recognised as the nations glamour girl by making porn without understanding the responsibility she holds to young women. She has bills to pay- is rumoured to be bankrupt, Peter Andre is rumoured to be helping her out financially- I think this is to save embarrassment for his own children.

Jason Maskell, a former glamour model agent who’s now a successful entrepreneur and CEO of adultXfunding.com, revealed how the tape didn’t even rake in a huge fortune at the time, earning Katie £50,000 at the height of her career.

He said: “Katie Price, aka Jordan, has done one sex tape already and got paid very well for it.

“But, to be totally honest, the day of the sex tapes has gone due to the amount of leaked content of naked celebrities, and I mean real ones, not the UK Z-listed names.

“They may make something, but not as much as in the past. I doubt it would be the same as the £50,000 she got for her original.

Screenshot 2018-08-05 at 09.17.39Unfortunately, for her loyal fans that copycat her every move they simply overlook the context of  her decisions and actions;. and follow her decisions and actions to try to stay in the media for fame.

The impact of making porn is far wider than this and should be taken seriously. It includes making a personal choice to make a sex film, owning it and living with it long-term. Unless you have complete ownership of that footage it will be on the internet forever making someone else money and will not pay your bills, not even in the short-term.

She has made many past critical errors in her career and responsibility to her fans, one was removing her breast inplants- promoting the fact to her loyal fans- then a short time later she had them put back in again. Young women put themselves at risk to copy her.

Her publicised revenge porn on Alex Reid, her public put down of Peter Andre,  her past spats with Dane Bowers to name a few. Yes, she has done some good but this gets over shadowed by her desperate attempt to stay in the spotlight.

Remember, choices you make today will have an impact on your future. I work with many former adult stars and sex workers who try to move on. They suffer low self-esteem, isolation and lack of community skills such as interview skills, resume issues, and how to handle their past to move forward.

Your decision to make a sex tape will always be remembered. You will always be remembered for it – as “that” girl. Do not copy Katie Price.

 

Lianne Young

Sex and relationship counsellor for House of Ardent

 

Could you cope a month in an Indian Yoga school?

Some weeks have passed since I posted an article on my Yoga Prison experience,if you never got to read it, here is the link https://lianneyoung.wordpress.com/2018/06/11/the-yoga-prison/

I can honestly tell you it was one of the hardest challenges I had ever set myself in many ways, for starters the food was all vegetarian (I love nandos), no coffee (I am a coffee lover) no sugar (I love chocolate), no washing machine (I am spoilt), no television (yes I am really spoilt)… these are just a few of the changes.

Week one– I managed to get through and adjusted to my new surroundings which was similar to prisons in fact our food trays were identical.

Adjusting to life with a dozen other women is a challenge, the last time I done this was when I appeared on a channel four reality show “When women rule the world”. This was different as there were no men I could run off to a bar with and play pool……yes I did escape from a reality show. The Yoga women are different with many here to change direction in life, pursue their dreams or like me to learn a new skill.

Week two- This was easier than the previous simply because we had routine and our surroundings had become normal to us and people were wanting to plough on and learn. The one day break they had given us as the end of week one really helped, a simple trip into the heart of Rishikesh was more than a delight as we got to drink coffee! Don’t get me wrong it was no stylish Italian roasted bean I desired, but it was coffee and it had caffeine! Rishikesh has no alcohol and no meat anywhere and if you are caught with alcohol it is a three-month jail sentence.

This weeks schedule changed from the previous as they added Yoga Philosophy with the Yogi master. Yogi and I did not always get on as I had come here to learn a new skill and not change my life and not only this I have gone down with Delhi Belly this week and really could not cope with his classes.

This week is a real challenge as the actual physical classes are harder and one teacher has taken leave due to a bereavement so we were juggled between teachers which really did not help as we were still beginners. What made it worse was Yogi instructed some of the physical classes -it sounds like I dislike him, honestly I dont…its just some people are natural teachers and some are not, he is not.

This week I got my roommate back which is great, we had both adjusted to our surroundings and calmer, I even become used to the bugs and therefore I was not continuing my world war three with the critters. In fact having her back in the room was rewarding in many ways as she is a very open and honest young lady, not addicted to electronics and understands life. We both decided to escape one day well knocking off the philosophy class to go and buy coca cola-my Delhi belly had left me dehydrated and I needed sugar.. the word soon spread that we found the local shop.

Week three– God help me now i am going to pull my damn hair out! I found out the Yogi is only 31 years old which makes him 13 years younger than I. My whole vision of a Yogi master before I came here was of an older man with a long beard, white hair and calming . This is so far from my Yogi- he’s 31 and bit of a hipster with long hair and very up and down with his mood swings and lets not even talk about his philosophy classes… ok we will.. I attended two and the man is off his rocker… he makes no sense what so ever as he keeps going off on his own personal stories, I had to give up going and learn from my text-book as I was completely lost listening to him. I can assure you I was not alone as 75% of the group decided to learn from the book rather than him.

Its a struggle this week as the pressure is on for the exam finals and we have been given no idea what to expect so we can’t revise. My stomach is better now thankfully, however eating the same food for breakfast, lunch and dinner started getting to me. Thankfully they surprised us one day with fried falafals and chips-they even chucked in some ketchup! I serious now know what ketchup is all about.

Already one women had departed after three days through a sinus infection and now one had a abyss on her face, I had suffered Delhi Belly and now an enema have been introduced!

Now I will be honest here and admit I have done many enema in my life due to my past career as a Porn star (many moons ago)… however there is no way I am going to do one in unsterile conditions or without betidine solution just like I will not put mud on my face which has given someone an infection, I poured salt water through my nose that was enough for me, the others actually pulled rods through theirs…I never done this as again it was not sterile.

The tempature is in the 40s and making us all struggle we need rain!

P.S I have now won all the bets of how long would last

Week four

This week was exam week and we had to teach a 45 minute class and then a 90 min class, I find the practical side easy as I am already qualified in fitness and have run classes, however I could see others were so I tried my best to help them. First I stole a clock form the main office so they can look at the time rather than their phones well running a class, I also lend people my master learning book which is a brand I use for all fitness routines-The Anatomy of fitness (Yoga) they cover all kinds of fitness and show actual muscles worked and benefits- it is a students dream. I have studied continuously in my life so have learnt what is good and bad along the way and belive in helping others.

I passed the 45 minute class which helped me feel confident of passing the 90 minute class.

The 90 minute exam was going to be supervised by the lead teacher so everything had to be near perfect, fortunately I am pleased to say I passed the practical exam with flying colours. Now it was revision for the theory, I had read all about the Chakras and Pranayamas and everything else we have had to learn along the way and it was near impossible to remember everything so I decided I just go with it- Yoga is meant to be relaxing not stressing.

The last day and night- How happy was I too see this day-whoever thinks a Yoga teacher training course is simple are wrong. The highs and the lows have all been worth it as I have passed all my exams including theory which means I am now a qualified Yoga teacher.

The last day another transition was setting in as we would all be going our separate ways tomorrow-mine was to run off to the golden sands of Malaysia for a well-earned rest.

The last evening was spent listening to a traditioanal Indian band which was a great experience. The following morning was the closing ceremony where we received our certificates and posed for the camera before leaving for our flights.

Considering an Indian Yoga school

Be prepared for hard work both physically and mentally and if taking a course in India don’t expect luxury. The heat is something else and not for people who dont like it, there are bugs everywhere and there is nothing you can do about it so take this on board.

You will meet others from all walks of life and not all you will get on with so go with the flow and brush it off and surround yourself with the ones that compliment you.

Dont think it’s a summer camp as it’s not. Its long days, continuous study and very early mornings.

Lianne Young

PS…I went in at 68kg and came out at 60kg! watch out for my next next article on how to loose 8kg in 4 weeks.

The Yoga prison!

I am now in the authentic religious area of india, Rishikesh. The city which recognises and proudly honours the beatles and flows with authentic spices and tradition. Rishikesh is not only one of the most traditional and holy places of India it is also the home city of Yoga.

Surrounded by the famous Ganges river an mountains with clay mud beaches, it is definitely an authentic experience. Cows roam freely around the streets and stop the traffic to a stand still on the already overpacked streets. The area is bursting with colour from traditional dress and anyone with white skin is stopped by locals wanting pictures of our clear white skin, the locals are better paparazzi than those from my usual world of media, they just snap away without permission, it is actually hard to walk to a destination without feeling overwhelmed by cameras pointed at you, this is the same for male and females.

My initial experience of India was Delhi for three days which blew my mind in many ways, the amount of people, tuk tuks, cows and the sight of mountains of litter piled everywhere. I can safely say Delhi is one of the  worst Cities I have visited and I have travelled to many countries. Is it safe for a single women?  definitely not in my opinion, there is around 100 men to every women and it is intimidating and hard work to get around. I was fortunate only to suffer three nights in Delhi which was made easier by two German female backpackers taking me under their wing until I left.

My next destination is Rishikesh where I am right now, as mentioned before it is the home of Yoga and the main reason I came here. You see I wanted a change, a challenge, a rest of my mind and to add complimentary therapies to my counselling and media work, I signed up not really knowing what I had let myself in for..

Day 1

My home for 28 days is called AlakhYog and set in the countryside of Rishikesh away from the beeping of horns and freely roaming cows which are everywhere. My initial arrival was one of shock as I was expecting a luxury retreat with swimming pool, air conditioning, cleaners and all the added extras I thought I would get for the $1200 that I paid, unfortunately I was in for a shock…The entrance has barbed wire on top the walls accompanied by solid iron black gates as the entrance, I seriously thought I had been dropped off in the wrong place.

I entered the accommodation, which actually looked Ok except for the wooden roof which had gaps letting in bugs from all angles (I am terrified of bugs). I am taken to the office and handed bed sheets, given some books and shown my room like enrolling in a prison wing. The bedroom is fine and I have been paired up with a young South African Girl named Jade who is very welcoming. I am informed the chef is preparing me some food, I never had the heart to tell them I had managed a large portion of chicken curry at New Delhi airport knowing it was going to be my last meat meal for a month.

After dinner I am to take my first class, mediation. A group of 20 women gather in the temple dome to await the master yogi. The class was something I had not expected, I seriously still think the Yogi was stoned… the only words I heard were Yoga-(long pause) is not a sport… literally he was just looking at us smiling and laughing, I thought I have signed up  to the funny farm. The evening food was delicious, authentic vegetarian yogic food-this surprised me as one thing I was dreading was giving up my normal food for the month. Bedtime came around and entering my room put me into shock as there are bugs everywhere and I mean creepy beetle looking things-I ran out thinking no way am I sleeping in there, fortunately I came armed bug spray and attack them like world war three.  I had a great nights sleep and woke to my alarm at 5.30 am.

Day 2

Early morning nasal cleaning (see pictures) and sun worshipping along with making bird noises, yes I thought I was being held in a cult, a funny farm cult. I manged the poring of water through my nostrils much to my surprise, however I was not yet prepared to make noises to sound like a bird.. It just all seemed so sureal. The day consists of meditation (I feel asleep in class), Pranyama, Mantra, Chanting, three Astana yoga sessions and meditation. (see time-table attached), trust me the day is exhausting even for me as a regular women of exercise. The day went so fast and bedtime quickly came around and I so needed my bed. Starting a day with no morning coffee is bloody hard work. I also realised I had been bitten to death during the day and even taking three cold showers in the 40 degree humid heat did not ease the itchiness, In fact it only made it worse. I decided to spray the room and start world war four on the bugs which led to a bit of a fall out with my room-mate. You see she is a spiritual person and believes it’s a bugs right to sleep in my room and most likely my bed..I dont.

Day 3

I wake, go outside my room and discover my roommate sleeping in the corridor after the previous nights fallout over bugs and spray, her choice not mine. Not only this a storm had passed through the night creating a wind-swept forest in the building main building, I was the only one who had slept through it which was a relief, obviously we all had to clean it up before classes began! You see we have been told that all cleaning was our responsibility and this included the communal areas…yes I am in prison. It suddenly dawned on me the storm had blown all my cloths off the washing line after I had washed them all by hand the night before as we don’t have the luxury of washing machines. So no morning coffee, no cigarettes, no breakfast, ruined cloths and I still have to attend the group to make bird noises, this makes a bad start to my day.  I manged to stay awake during meditation this time even though my muscles are aching and my brain is fried after such intense classes and believe me when I say its harsh.

The end of the day my roommate started moving into another room with some younger girls, trust me I never told her she had to, she herself had chosen to leave because of the insect repellent, to be honest who was I to argue about getting my own room.

Day 5

I am having a nervous breakdown, detox is hurting me and I desperately need a coffee and a cigarette. My body is sore and they have chucked in a class called Karma Yoga which is based on us picking crap up from the grounds which quite frankly I feel is their responsibility. I am loosing my rag, I’m tired, pissed off and feeling out of my depth. The group is starting to separate into groups which is great as 20 women stuck in a prison together is like a jail sentence. Thankfully there is a fellow 40 something British female called Sue who I have made friends with, I now feel I can relate to someone.

The same timetable again today as usual and to be honest I am wondering if I can stick this out, I really feel overwhelmed being locked up and unable to escape well training so hard. I think the people having bets on how long I will last could be the winners. I refuse to do meditation tonight as last time I did I was bitten by horny mosquitos wanting to ravish on my body. To top it all after a hard days timetable and being told to complete my Karma Yoga of cleaning yoga mats I am nearly ready to quit, right now is not good for me or anyone around me, fortunately for me and everyone else I am saved by a wild monkey coming through the grounds which took the attention from mat cleaning to viewing. I really needed to sleep, and soon.

Day 6

Same timetable as usual and if I am tired then the beginners in the class must be wrecked, literally everyone is so exhausted. The girls asked my opinion on what to do and suddenly I find myself the spokeswomen of the group and take on the responsibility of talking to the managers of the retreat. I tell them the girls are exhausted and after six days continuous working out incuding theory consisting of human anatomy, nutrition, mantra, chanting, prayers and karma yoga the girls need a day off. I explained the science of too much exercise on the body, I ask them to take on board the situation before anyone becomes injured, to my surprised they took it on board.

The morning consisted as usual of the asana yoga, anatomy, mantra etc, only half the class fell asleep to exhausted to push themselves, I felt sorry for them and sorry for myself as I am hurting bad. Lunchtime came and everyone is drained emotionaly and physically when a group chat is held with  the teacher who informs us we can have a day off mid next week… I thought they were crazy. One girl had already quit after three days in camp and if they were not careful they were about to lose more. Afternoon classes started as normal when to our surprise the main Yogi comes in to inform us the day was to end after this class and we were to have the afternoon and the following day as our time off! I could see such relief in people’s eyes, some even shed a tear. The weight of more intense training had been lifted off them for 36 hours. Have no doubt how hard it is physically and mostly mentally to go through this kind of detox and training, its overwhelming, exhausting and challenging.

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The afternoon I slept for three solid hours before getting up and feeling alive, I dyed my roots (a must) gave myself a facial and for the first time in three weeks felt normal. I had been trekking in Japan for 10 days before India and had not even blow dried my hair in all the time I have been away. I am also not used to living this lifestyle, no washing machine, no television, no radio, hardly any wi-fi and having to live with so many people in a cult like centre. It is overwhelming and exhausting. This afternoon was a blessing.

Day 7

I feel like a new women, still no lie in as my body is now set to waking up at 5.30 am but who gives a shit as today is mine and everyone’s day off, our day out the prison and out into the heart of Rishikesh to see local people, local food, tradition, colour, internet and freedom. The whole group is so happy and excited it’s as if we are all young children going on a school trip. One thing I for sure can say is we deserve it as we have another 3 weeks to go yet.

Have I settled into the place, absolutely not, although I have now accepted Karma Yoga and singing like a bird! I finally realise I can just be myself and feel like a kid at certain times and be exhausted at others. Could I get used to this life? No way, but I can tell you now I will see it through to the end and appreciate every luxury I have in my life with a bit more respect.

To my wonderful friends who have placed bets on me you will not win I can assure you so get ready to pay up on my return.

My follow up will be in a weeks time….if i survive.

xx

Love from India

Why parents are responsible for their children accessing porn.

 

a93ac18564d1c7e285f044ba3fa566f3Living in a digital age has brought with it many advantages for people of all ages and unfortunately with easy access to electronic devices and mobile phones it gives children free access to online pornography and and as a parent you should have safety concerns.

Qualified in online grooming and pornography- I understand how the internet is used for negative purposes and how parents need to stay vigilant. It is all too easy for adult users to pose as children in online chat rooms and gain the trust of younger children, and with modern technology it is all too easy for anyone to conceal their identities. It’s down to you as a parent to take responsibility rather than blaming others for your child entering chatrooms and accessing pornography.

STOP BLAMING THE PORNOGRAPHIC INDUSTRY

Many parents are saying “pornography is damaging to our children” and I agree- however, I also know more harm is done with ignorance and blaming others instead of getting educated on the, matter, parents and teachers need to become more educated on pornography whether they like it or not.

five person holding mobile phones

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Just as you talk to your children about career options, the advice you give will depend on their age. Children use the internet for homework, research, sports, interests and social media such as ‘Facebook’, ‘Instagram’, ‘Snapchat’, ‘Tumblr’ and ‘Twitter’. Many children also share too much information on their personal lives including online payment information such as PayPal or a credit card of an older relative, unknown to them this can be stored by companies and individuals that may be operating not only the regular web but the dark web.

Pornography is freely available on ‘Twitter’ and ‘Tumblr’ and your child most likely has an account with one of these social platforms and is viewing  it. The main danger here is others can leave comments, friend, and privately send messages and with no governing body at present there is no one that can protect them but you as a parent. Trust me- many children, maybe even yours go beyond just social chatting, they are accessing and viewing online porn, messaging strangers and maybe even meeting once a connection and friendship has been made and they are most likely not telling you about it.

The things you can do as a parent varies, however at first you have to take responsibility that you are providing the device and also providing access for them. Trust me- when I say professional adult companies such as webcam and pornography market to the over 18 year olds and it is your child illegally accessing the material. In fact I can verify for the professional pornographic performers they hate the fact children (maybe your child) are trying to access their material.

It’s your responsibility as a parent to stay up with social trends, ask your child what online games they are playing, what their favorite apps are and talk to them about pornography. Imagine giving your child money and knowing they are going to a bar to drink underaged, you and they are breaking the law and it‘s no different from providing them access to the online world which has over 18 material. Google even says parents are to blame for children accessing porn and it’s got to stop being blamed on the porn industry, which does have a place in society, and back to parenting.

Pornography has been around for centuries and if you have not viewed it in any form then you are one of very few people, you may also be against it but it does have a place in society-it helps with relationships, single individuals, individuals with social interaction issues, people with mental health issues and the disabled. Everyone deserves a right to experience sexual enjoyment in which way they desire as long as its legal, what has to stop is the uneducated shift of blame to those choosing to provide entertainment for these people. 

Read my article today in the Metro

Today in the metro I am giving our tips on great deep penetrative sexual positions and how they can help you conceive.

http://metro.co.uk/2018/03/12/best-sex-position-want-get-pregnant-7371928/amp/?ito=desktop.article.share.top.twitter&__twitter_impression=true

The real victims of sex abuse

sabuse-1My loyal readers all know I am not afraid to tackle contentious issues. So buckle up – here we go again!

My proposition is that the media’s over-emphasis of the overpaid celebrities who are leading the “#me too” campaign ignores the real victims of sexual harassment and abuse – those who are genuinely in need of protection.

Don’t get me wrong – I am not for a moment condoning any form of non-consensual or unwanted or unacceptable sexual misconduct. However, in my view, the whole #me too campaign has gone too far.

Let’s look first at the celebrities. And again, I must make clear I am not condoning or seeking to excuse unwelcome sexual advances of any nature or in any context. But surely, the question must be asked why these high profile so-called victims – many of whom (and I readily concede not all) tolerated and remained silent about the conduct of which they are now complaining after in some instances 20 years plus, presumably in the interest of advancing their careers – are being given unrivalled media attention.

And all this media coverage to the few is given whilst the real victims of sexual misconduct remain relatively anonymous when compared with those who might be described as privileged and high profile and who, for whatever reason, have decided after many years to speak out.

Now, let’s consider the victims. Of course, there are many such victims, including those of domestic violence, forced marriage, church and other institutional abuse etc … of which I concede there has been some media coverage – in some cases significant and serious coverage. Yet one sector is virtually ignored and misrepresented – those are workers in the sex industry.

The recent UK tabloids’ coverage of the Dorchester Hotel event prompted me to write this article to highlight this ridiculously unbalanced media coverage – of the privileged #me too brigade on the one hand, compared with the lost victims of sexual abuse, including those who work in the sex industry and about whom we hear barely a beep.

For those unfamiliar with the story, the Dorchester was used as a venue recently to host a male only event described as a sexual predators’ playground. An undercover journalist sought to expose the sexual nature of this event, with descriptions of men salivating, taking pictures and drunkenly approaching the women who were employed at the event with unwelcome sexual advances and comments.

Now I am not for a moment condoning such behaviour. And I applaud the journalist’s desire to lift the lid on unacceptable sexual behaviour  However, I beg to differ where the journalist and some of the girls involved said they were treated “like sex workers”.

That comment really brought home to me the relative lack of understanding and media profile – the deafening silence – about the plight of other, lower profile victims such as sex workers. Indeed, it highlighted to me how ignorant the media and broader community are of issues facing the sex industry.

 

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Seriously, how can these men be described as predators for getting drunk and being nothing more than rude? And how can the journalist and these employees truly believe they were treated like sex workers? The world has simply gone #me too far!

Please don’t get me wrong. I applaud and support many of the objectives of the #me too campaign. In particular, I support the principle of non-acceptance of sexual misconduct, unwanted sexual advances, and the importance of encouraging victims of such conduct to speak out. However, as has been well documented by many anti-#me too campaigners, in particular the French former screen actress Catherine Deneuve, who have highlighted the importance of distinguishing between sexual harassment and abuse on the one hand and normal sexual behaviour on the other.

The #me too campaign is at risk of blinding us to the fact that humans are sexual beings. It is part of our identity. It is in our DNA. The campaign fails to differentiate between sexual harassment, abuse and violence on the one hand and normal sexual activity on the other.

Further, the media’s pre-occupation with the relatively few powerful figures who have ultimately seen fit to complain of wanted sexual advances, in many instances after many years and after they have reaped the financial and career rewards of their own mishandling of the incident of which they complain, fails to cover the real, powerless victims of such conduct, particularly those who choose or are forced to enter the sex industry.

What is more, the campaign fails to distinguish between drunken foolish behaviourand normal human sexual interaction.

The Dorchester event journalist compared the girls’ treatment to that off sex workers. And I venture to guess this is simply because the journalist and so-called victims concerned think they know what sex workers have to suffer. Believe me, they don’t.

Participants in the sex industry are one of the many unsung victims of sexual abuse and predatory behaviour. Yet they are the victims the media chooses to overlook. Why? Perhaps because they are seen as people who deserve it.

Most people do not actually understand what a sex worker is, let alone what they endure in the lives they have chosen or been forced by circumstance to pursue. Wikipedia defines sex workers as those who provide direct sexual services such as prostitutes, and some but not all professional dominants; pornographic models and actors who engage in sexually explicit behaviour that is filmed or photographed; phone sexoperators who have sexually-oriented conversations with clients, and those provide audio sexual role play. Other sex workers are paid to engage in live sexual performances, such as webcam sex and live sex shows. Some sex workers perform erotic dances and other act for an audience (stripteaseGo-Go dancinglap dancingNeo-burlesque, and peep shows etc…).

Generally speaking, these are professionals, who are simply trying to earn a living. One thing for sure is they would never have agreed to wear a cheap bit of black cloth, loosely described as a dress, and work for a minimum wage for a male only event fuelled with alcohol and, I am sure, drugs. They would have charged a lot more and would have understood exactly what would be happening. And frankly, I’m pretty sure most of the women who worked at the Dorchester event would have understood the situation too.

The point I am making is that the media coverage of the #me too campaign, and more broadly journalists who should know better, are loosely using the words abuse, harassment, sexual violence and encouraging women to consider themselves victims of being made to feel like a sex worker; and they clearly do not understand what sex workers face on a daily basis.

And these are a group of people who really need the help. Yet they are overlooked by the media that prefers to pander to the relatively few grandstanding show-ponies that put up with unacceptable behaviour in return for untold riches and rewards they clearly coveted.

Many victims who should be encouraged to come forward, including many in the sex industry, are instead portrayed by the media, if the media covers them at all, as a lost cause – as someone who they expect it to happen too.

Recently, this view was implied to me by a newspaper journalist who I asked to help me and my colleague, Kelly Berg from House of Ardent, to expose the appalling abuse that is occurring within the porn industry, including the recent suicide of six young women who had faced physical and mental abuse, on-line bullying and depression. Such sexual violence, harassment and demeaning language is not the price one should pay for seeking employment, whether in the sex industry or otherwise; and nor should be deciding to take your own life. Yet hardly a word has been mentioned of these tragic cases, compared with the virtual avalanche of high profile #me too complaints.

Slut shaming of these women by the media and sometimes even from strangers on social media has gone far too far. It is contributing to these young women not wanting to better themselves because the truth is they never can leave the industry because of the poor choices they made or were forced to make, often in their youth.

Take myself for example. I retired some 18 years ago from the porn industry, and qualified in international business, counselling and mentoring. Similarly, my colleague, Kelly Berg – previously known as Kelly Stafford, retired many years ago after working with only Rocco Siffredi. And we both have offered to the media and others, including the body responsible for the welfare of adult entertainers – UKAP-important insights on the state and welfare of girls working in or trying to leave the industry, some of whom have taken their own lives. Yet we have been constantly not taken seriously because of our past – even though we are seeking to actively mentor and assist those who have faced years of genuine sexual harassment and abuse, and trying to prevent suicides.

My good friend Alana Evans in the USA recently has been inundated with media for refusing to have sex with Donald Trump! However this will soon be overlooked and questioned-Why? Because she is a sex worker.

Only last week, I interviewed a well-known UK porn actress who was groomed, manipulated and provided with false promises of security by a former Bristol MP who gained her trust then prostituted her to his friends. She was blindfolded, gagged and threatened with a sharp metal object. It took her a year to come forward and contact the police about what she had to endure. Yet no one would take her seriously because of her chosen profession. Can you imagine that being the case with a mainstream actress, particularly a successful one?

Many such victims of sexual abuse and harassment do not come forward because they are not the top of the popularity queue. They are not afforded the same compassion, coverage and support given by the media and broader society to the show-ponies from Hollywood.

Judgment, victim shaming, blaming, and fear of violence within the sex industry needs to be addressed. The media should not be covering salacious sexual content and then putting down men for admiring the view.

Further, women should be able to embrace their sexuality and not be called a slut or have it held against them in the future. It’s about time the media gave everyone the equal chance to be protected from sexual predators and abuse – not just the ones with an existing and well-rewarded profile.

It is also time for the media and broader community to learn the difference between normal sexual relations including courting or flirting, call it what you will, on the one hand, and sexual harassment and abuse on the other. It is time to learn guidelines and boundaries – not just towards others but also towards ourselves. I for one would miss the world without eye candy!

According to Oscar Wilde – “Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”

It is time for the media and roader society to cover and protect the vulnerable, not just the powerful.

As Catherine Deneuve has observed, it is time for the media and broader society to understand the distinction between normal and acceptable sexual interaction that is part of our DNA and unwanted and unacceptable sexual misconduct.

The media must stop peddling salacious stories that is unsupported by factual research, in particular it must stop misrepresenting the sex industry as a measure of what is and is not sexually acceptable in society. Rather, they must uncover and expose the fact of the appalling abuse that is occurring in that industry and help address the damage caused to participants, including the unacceptably high level of suicide.

And finally, for our own and our childrens’ sakes, the media and society must demand greater education and awareness of appropriate and positive sexual behaviours. Children should learn at a young age what is acceptable in sexual terms and what is not.

Lianne and Kelly are available for interviews via http://www.houseofardent.com