STORMY Daniels cost CBB by refusing to enter the house two hours before it goes live.

Stormy Daniels had arrived in the UK ready for her appearance on Celebrity Big Brother after long negotiations Welcomed on arrival by the wet, moist British weather, something similar to what she has experienced many times before on set I am sure.

“Hurricane Daniels” is the name I have given her after months of negotiations, ups, downs and change of mind more times than the world financial exchange rate.. pulled out 2 hours before the show was due to go live on UK television costing the channel an enormous amount of money.

I was asked in April of this year if I could contact “Stormy” and ask if she would consider appearing in this years CBB in August. Having worked beside the Adult industry for some 20 years I knew I could take this on, however I expressed my concerns from the start.

I knew it would not be easy especially with her having sucked Donald Trump in 2006 and becoming somewhat of a celebrity for it, however hard work is what I thrive on.

I’m also experienced well enough to know you can ask a top adult actress about business in the hope they will listen to you, if they don’t trust you then the door will be slammed in your face before negotiations can even start.

I work very closely with Stormy’s former friend Alana Evans who is a true professional of the industry, therfore I had no doubt stormy would undoubtedly be the same. After all who would break two legal contracts amongst such high publicity.

Unknown to me Stormy would.

A brief chat in May introducing myself to her I found her an easy women to chat with on the phone , she sounded intelligent and business like, 30 minutes later I am introducing TV agent and Stormy to start negotiations amongst themselves. I was delighted that I had tracked her down to one spot and her making time in her diary for a scheduled call with me.

The following months were not that easy, she changed her mind on the first offer of £750,000 (I use the word work loosely) for a maximum of 3.5 weeks work…. Reason being she has a book to release the end of August back in the USA.

It was eventually negotiated after lots of hard work that she would complete one week as a house guest for £200,000. Obviously it’s not as easy as just signing on a dotted line to seal the deal like others, it’s television and all kinds of paperwork and checks are involved. I know first hand this was a bloody nightmare to get her to complete and left the deal still not completed one week before the show, giving myself, the TV channel and the agent a near heart attack. . Then in true diva style she threats to pull out 12 hours before boarding a flight, throwing not only the show but everyone who has worked so damn hard on it into a meltdown, including me.

I’m lost for words on her behaviour…. I’ve never worked on a business deal like it.. Not even in the Adult industry. The last deal I remember being anything remotely near this bad was when I performed in Sex Survivor 2000 for playboy.

Fast forward to today, she arrives, does the PR video introduction for the show and all required photoshoot material ready for the launch at 9pm. I can now reveal she pulled out at 7 pm two hours before the show went live after suddenly loosing herself in a unbelievable tantrum for no reason, speculation is that it could be related to intoxication, medication, exhaustion or drugs–that can be the only explanation for her sudden change of character and abusive behaviour towards the CBB team. She was to be the star of the show–she was to be given the platform to take control and earn herself a new reputation and mainstream career. One has to ask why did she take the first class flight provided by Channel five in the first place? After five months of negotiations and giving people the run around what was her mission? If it was to prove she breaks more contracts and that her word cannot be trusted then she has concreted this in style. So much so that she has convinced top agents around the world never to want to work her.

People assume Adult stars can be high maintenance, this I don’t deny as some can, however it is only a small percentage as the rest are easy to deal with. Trust me, 20 years of experience I know.

I have flown back from the middle east for the show and to make her feel welcome, I have spent so much time on it and had many sleepless nights because of the Stormy Daniels media circus.

Is all my hard work done, no way as I have to pick up the pieces of many professional people’s trust and rebuild relationships with media that she has ruined. I will be passing on reports to industry leaders and magazines on both sides of the ocean, I hope everyone sees that even by risking the chance on her could cost them dearly.

I will not let her walk out the show and just walk away, she has no idea who she is dealing with when taking on someone like me. -after all I am British and proud of it. I spend a quantity of my time helping young women transition, trying to convince the media that adult models are not just a reflection of a lost soul and the Adult industry does have real business women. In my opinion the Adult industry made her, invested in her alongside my self and others and unfortunately now she is a women who can’t be trusted.

Being aware of unreleased details surrounding this case I will add to the blog in due course. Information has emerged which I feel is in the public interest.

The real victims of sex abuse

sabuse-1My loyal readers all know I am not afraid to tackle contentious issues. So buckle up – here we go again!

My proposition is that the media’s over-emphasis of the overpaid celebrities who are leading the “#me too” campaign ignores the real victims of sexual harassment and abuse – those who are genuinely in need of protection.

Don’t get me wrong – I am not for a moment condoning any form of non-consensual or unwanted or unacceptable sexual misconduct. However, in my view, the whole #me too campaign has gone too far.

Let’s look first at the celebrities. And again, I must make clear I am not condoning or seeking to excuse unwelcome sexual advances of any nature or in any context. But surely, the question must be asked why these high profile so-called victims – many of whom (and I readily concede not all) tolerated and remained silent about the conduct of which they are now complaining after in some instances 20 years plus, presumably in the interest of advancing their careers – are being given unrivalled media attention.

And all this media coverage to the few is given whilst the real victims of sexual misconduct remain relatively anonymous when compared with those who might be described as privileged and high profile and who, for whatever reason, have decided after many years to speak out.

Now, let’s consider the victims. Of course, there are many such victims, including those of domestic violence, forced marriage, church and other institutional abuse etc … of which I concede there has been some media coverage – in some cases significant and serious coverage. Yet one sector is virtually ignored and misrepresented – those are workers in the sex industry.

The recent UK tabloids’ coverage of the Dorchester Hotel event prompted me to write this article to highlight this ridiculously unbalanced media coverage – of the privileged #me too brigade on the one hand, compared with the lost victims of sexual abuse, including those who work in the sex industry and about whom we hear barely a beep.

For those unfamiliar with the story, the Dorchester was used as a venue recently to host a male only event described as a sexual predators’ playground. An undercover journalist sought to expose the sexual nature of this event, with descriptions of men salivating, taking pictures and drunkenly approaching the women who were employed at the event with unwelcome sexual advances and comments.

Now I am not for a moment condoning such behaviour. And I applaud the journalist’s desire to lift the lid on unacceptable sexual behaviour  However, I beg to differ where the journalist and some of the girls involved said they were treated “like sex workers”.

That comment really brought home to me the relative lack of understanding and media profile – the deafening silence – about the plight of other, lower profile victims such as sex workers. Indeed, it highlighted to me how ignorant the media and broader community are of issues facing the sex industry.

 

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Seriously, how can these men be described as predators for getting drunk and being nothing more than rude? And how can the journalist and these employees truly believe they were treated like sex workers? The world has simply gone #me too far!

Please don’t get me wrong. I applaud and support many of the objectives of the #me too campaign. In particular, I support the principle of non-acceptance of sexual misconduct, unwanted sexual advances, and the importance of encouraging victims of such conduct to speak out. However, as has been well documented by many anti-#me too campaigners, in particular the French former screen actress Catherine Deneuve, who have highlighted the importance of distinguishing between sexual harassment and abuse on the one hand and normal sexual behaviour on the other.

The #me too campaign is at risk of blinding us to the fact that humans are sexual beings. It is part of our identity. It is in our DNA. The campaign fails to differentiate between sexual harassment, abuse and violence on the one hand and normal sexual activity on the other.

Further, the media’s pre-occupation with the relatively few powerful figures who have ultimately seen fit to complain of wanted sexual advances, in many instances after many years and after they have reaped the financial and career rewards of their own mishandling of the incident of which they complain, fails to cover the real, powerless victims of such conduct, particularly those who choose or are forced to enter the sex industry.

What is more, the campaign fails to distinguish between drunken foolish behaviourand normal human sexual interaction.

The Dorchester event journalist compared the girls’ treatment to that off sex workers. And I venture to guess this is simply because the journalist and so-called victims concerned think they know what sex workers have to suffer. Believe me, they don’t.

Participants in the sex industry are one of the many unsung victims of sexual abuse and predatory behaviour. Yet they are the victims the media chooses to overlook. Why? Perhaps because they are seen as people who deserve it.

Most people do not actually understand what a sex worker is, let alone what they endure in the lives they have chosen or been forced by circumstance to pursue. Wikipedia defines sex workers as those who provide direct sexual services such as prostitutes, and some but not all professional dominants; pornographic models and actors who engage in sexually explicit behaviour that is filmed or photographed; phone sexoperators who have sexually-oriented conversations with clients, and those provide audio sexual role play. Other sex workers are paid to engage in live sexual performances, such as webcam sex and live sex shows. Some sex workers perform erotic dances and other act for an audience (stripteaseGo-Go dancinglap dancingNeo-burlesque, and peep shows etc…).

Generally speaking, these are professionals, who are simply trying to earn a living. One thing for sure is they would never have agreed to wear a cheap bit of black cloth, loosely described as a dress, and work for a minimum wage for a male only event fuelled with alcohol and, I am sure, drugs. They would have charged a lot more and would have understood exactly what would be happening. And frankly, I’m pretty sure most of the women who worked at the Dorchester event would have understood the situation too.

The point I am making is that the media coverage of the #me too campaign, and more broadly journalists who should know better, are loosely using the words abuse, harassment, sexual violence and encouraging women to consider themselves victims of being made to feel like a sex worker; and they clearly do not understand what sex workers face on a daily basis.

And these are a group of people who really need the help. Yet they are overlooked by the media that prefers to pander to the relatively few grandstanding show-ponies that put up with unacceptable behaviour in return for untold riches and rewards they clearly coveted.

Many victims who should be encouraged to come forward, including many in the sex industry, are instead portrayed by the media, if the media covers them at all, as a lost cause – as someone who they expect it to happen too.

Recently, this view was implied to me by a newspaper journalist who I asked to help me and my colleague, Kelly Berg from House of Ardent, to expose the appalling abuse that is occurring within the porn industry, including the recent suicide of six young women who had faced physical and mental abuse, on-line bullying and depression. Such sexual violence, harassment and demeaning language is not the price one should pay for seeking employment, whether in the sex industry or otherwise; and nor should be deciding to take your own life. Yet hardly a word has been mentioned of these tragic cases, compared with the virtual avalanche of high profile #me too complaints.

Slut shaming of these women by the media and sometimes even from strangers on social media has gone far too far. It is contributing to these young women not wanting to better themselves because the truth is they never can leave the industry because of the poor choices they made or were forced to make, often in their youth.

Take myself for example. I retired some 18 years ago from the porn industry, and qualified in international business, counselling and mentoring. Similarly, my colleague, Kelly Berg – previously known as Kelly Stafford, retired many years ago after working with only Rocco Siffredi. And we both have offered to the media and others, including the body responsible for the welfare of adult entertainers – UKAP-important insights on the state and welfare of girls working in or trying to leave the industry, some of whom have taken their own lives. Yet we have been constantly not taken seriously because of our past – even though we are seeking to actively mentor and assist those who have faced years of genuine sexual harassment and abuse, and trying to prevent suicides.

My good friend Alana Evans in the USA recently has been inundated with media for refusing to have sex with Donald Trump! However this will soon be overlooked and questioned-Why? Because she is a sex worker.

Only last week, I interviewed a well-known UK porn actress who was groomed, manipulated and provided with false promises of security by a former Bristol MP who gained her trust then prostituted her to his friends. She was blindfolded, gagged and threatened with a sharp metal object. It took her a year to come forward and contact the police about what she had to endure. Yet no one would take her seriously because of her chosen profession. Can you imagine that being the case with a mainstream actress, particularly a successful one?

Many such victims of sexual abuse and harassment do not come forward because they are not the top of the popularity queue. They are not afforded the same compassion, coverage and support given by the media and broader society to the show-ponies from Hollywood.

Judgment, victim shaming, blaming, and fear of violence within the sex industry needs to be addressed. The media should not be covering salacious sexual content and then putting down men for admiring the view.

Further, women should be able to embrace their sexuality and not be called a slut or have it held against them in the future. It’s about time the media gave everyone the equal chance to be protected from sexual predators and abuse – not just the ones with an existing and well-rewarded profile.

It is also time for the media and broader community to learn the difference between normal sexual relations including courting or flirting, call it what you will, on the one hand, and sexual harassment and abuse on the other. It is time to learn guidelines and boundaries – not just towards others but also towards ourselves. I for one would miss the world without eye candy!

According to Oscar Wilde – “Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”

It is time for the media and roader society to cover and protect the vulnerable, not just the powerful.

As Catherine Deneuve has observed, it is time for the media and broader society to understand the distinction between normal and acceptable sexual interaction that is part of our DNA and unwanted and unacceptable sexual misconduct.

The media must stop peddling salacious stories that is unsupported by factual research, in particular it must stop misrepresenting the sex industry as a measure of what is and is not sexually acceptable in society. Rather, they must uncover and expose the fact of the appalling abuse that is occurring in that industry and help address the damage caused to participants, including the unacceptably high level of suicide.

And finally, for our own and our childrens’ sakes, the media and society must demand greater education and awareness of appropriate and positive sexual behaviours. Children should learn at a young age what is acceptable in sexual terms and what is not.

Lianne and Kelly are available for interviews via http://www.houseofardent.com

My Detention Centre Journey

img_2269It’s pouring with rain outside, the palm trees are blowing furiously  well the sea wall takes bashing from the 100 mph waves. No one would believe I am on the luxury island of Bali, Indonesia. Trust me I can’t believe it myself.

Right this minute I should be sat in a classroom in Perth, Western Australia studying my last course which will give me freedom to live anywhere in the world. I’m super qualified in business Management and have hardly ever been out of work, I have followed most rules in my life, certainly all visa rules.

 So how come I am in Bali and not attending my studies? Well it was a rough journey, one that took 80 hours of flying and six countries over a two-week period, and it goes something like this.

The journey begins

December 5th (2016) – I depart London heading back to Perth. My partner and I already had our own christmas arrangements, he will be spending his with his children skiing in Japan. I will head to New Zealand to visit family. He will fly back to Perth on 8th Jan and I fly back on the 10th January. 

(I Had a wonderful three-week holiday in New Zealand.)

January 10th (2017)- I depart Auckland eager to get back  to Perth, I knew what studies I needed to do and was due to start January 30th.I needed to get back and get organised. I departed Auckland heading for Sydney which is a popular route as few direct flights go to Perth directly. What could possibly go wrong!

3 PM– I touch down in Sydney excited I am pretty much half way home. I follow the transfer line and enter immigration to run for my connecting flight. I waited my turn and held out my passport when the ladies face changes and she says “can you hold on a minute please, immigration wish to see you”.

I wait patiently when a male immigration officer comes over and asks me to follow him. He asks what is my purpose in Australia, I explained I am staying with my partner and about to attend studies. I have travelled on a tourist visa, choosing to convert to another type of visa when in Australia,  it’s much easier and less time-consuming.

To cut a very long story short I was taken to an airport immigration security room and asked a variety of questions, such as, who is your partner, what work do you do, how long are you staying, do you have finances.  I answered all of them with no issue.

I was then asked to agree for my luggage to be searched. I know he was only doing his job and with nothing to hide I said ‘OK’, I knew I never had any drugs or anything illegal..  I waited in the office well they stripped my suitcase , then they found and went through my phone with a toothpick! I stayed calm, the man’s just doing his job I kept telling myself. Then a women comes in rather abrupt with photocopies of emails saying your relationships is over, you’re here to work not study and your lieing to us. WTF

I asked her to contact my partner to which she refused, after an hour they eventually left him a voice message. He was in a courtroom (he is a lawyer) so could not just answer his phone. Well too late for me, it was time to clock off for the immigration officer and he simply said “I have to make a decision based on the facts and he’s not called back and I am due to leave. No explanation, no waiting for proof, going home was more important to him. He denied me entry.

Being denied entry meant I was immediately put  under security. Two security officers will be arriving to transfer me to a detention centre. I got scared only hearing horror stories of these places. I asked for my phone, my personal belongings etc. the answer was NO. Suddenly I felt like a criminal, to which I am not. They were nice enough to put my partner through to my immigration room  phone when he called back before security came to collect me. A bit fucking late of them to be so nice now!

The Detention centre

I fear the worse we have all heard the horror stories of it being like a prison. I have seen the news and read in the media how bad they are, so you should understand I was nerved. The two female security officers come to get me and inform me I am off to Villawood Immigration Detention Centre which is 30 mins from Sydney airport. No phone, no way to speak to someone it suddenly hit me that I had no idea how long I would be here.

I arrive for check in, greeted by smiles and forms to fill in and asked if I needed anything, I said I would love a coffee, never expecting it after my recent experience of  the immigration officer in Sydney. I was super surprised when shown the kitchen where I could help myself to food (which looked very nutritious meals and endless amounts of coffee). I grabbed a coffee and waited in a small waiting room with the television for my name to be called. It looked no different from a waiting room in a doctor’s surgery.  I was the only female, the only white person in the waiting room with other five males who spoke no English.

I needed to smoke and asked the female officer if she had a cigarette as they would not let me by any on route, she obliged and even had a cool chat outside.

Once through the check in I was shown  to my room in the main detention block, which yes, is situated in the prison but highly secured so you don’t mix with the real criminals, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my room, I had a bunk bed, desk, wardrobe, endless amounts of free mineral water, coffee, cereals and even fresh fruit. THis was nothing like people had been selling through the media.  The flat screen TV in the common room was surrounded by sofas. The television was off and you could hear a pin drop it was that quiet and cozy. I was supplied with fresh towels, tooth-brush and even pyjamas. There was no need for pyjamas as it was 40 degrees.

I settled in first then headed to the office to ask f  could make a call, they said only an international one. I rang a friend who could let my partner know I was safe and actually impressed and being looked after well. I was even offered a cigarette, I guess saying my ‘please’ and ‘thank you’s’ helped. I went back to the common room where the other detainees from pakistan and Malaysia were sat. They seemed quiet and scared so I started a conversation with them, I guessed them  around 19-25 in age, they had looks of disappointment on their faces and I wanted to help make them smile. We spoke and discovered each others stories or why we are here, most were wrong visas. I wanted to cheer them up and explained that this is not the end of their life journey,  it’s just side step to where we are meant to be in life. I even heard a few laughs, and everyone had smiles on their faces when I retired to bed, not that I could sleep, I did not even know how long I would be here. I decided it was best to go with the flow and follow the rules, after all I am not judged here for race, color, sexuality or anything.

At 8 am the following morning I was put through on a call to Qantas asking if I wanted to purchase a flight later that same day to London, I told them do I have to go back to UK,  ‘yes’ as its my passport country and they have to send you back to your country I was told… Damn I thought, it’s cold there. I was fortunate enough to have credit with Qantas which would cover my flight,  I was due to leave at 4 pm.  I had 8 hours left  so I asked questions of the security team. The Security team is an English company called’ Serco’ who provides security all over the world in detention centres. 

I asked how long some people had been in detention, some had been here 7 years! Why I asked, I was told they choose to stay as they receive  more money on the weekly allowance in a detention camp than they can earn back in their own country, plus they get free housing and food. Shit I wonder if I can make money from my stay!

Now don’t get detention centres mixed up with refugee camps, that’s a whole different story and one I don’t know much about. What I did find out during my stay in detention is you do have a choice how long you stay. They have to give you 72 hours to pay for your own flight out, then they find one for you which you will need to pay back if you don’t. I also discovered there is no control from the detention centre how long people stay, it’s not their decision, but well you are in their company they look after you, and very well. Yes for some it is unsafe to go back to their own countries, but first ask yourself how did they gt in the country in the first place? Trust me when I say they don’t get sent home if their is a danger to thier life, and they are looked after well in detention and paid a comfortable allowance. Facilities include recreational sporting, tuck hops and schools.

Before I left the detention centre to head to the airport my lunch was delivered which consisted of chicken curry and rice, with a side salad and chocolate pudding dessert!  I ate and waited for my security team to pick me up and transport me back to the airport. It gave me the chance to thank each and every one of the staff for looking after me so well, I thanked the other detainees for their conversations and gave them words of encouragement to go on. In a way I felt sad leaving not knowing what will happen to the others, I just hope they did well.

At Sydney airport I am put in a prison cell and asked what movie I wanted to watch!  it’s the complete opposite to the dungeon quality  treatment the news has been reporting. Once boarding commenced  I was first on and sat at the back-they would not let me upgrade to business class this time! The flight went via Dubai and eventually 23 hours later  I arrived in Terminal 3 in freezing cold England! I had already made plans this was a short trip and walked over to Terminal 4 to check in for my flight to Singapore, three hours later.

You see I had made the decision not one person can stop me being who I want to be,  not harming anyone and travelling with my own money why not do it. It takes no one but me to let theses experiences ruin me.

 

img_2316I boarded the flight back to Singapore via Doha and was greeted by a friendly face at the airport. I had been travelling for 3 days with no sleep.  The round trip of Auckland-Singapore via the detention centre, via Dubai, London, Doha and now finally Singapore… all I needed was sleep.  Yes,the experience has chucked a curve to my plans, but it has not stopped them. Now I await in Bali where I headed to after Singapore until I hear back from Australian Immigration about whether I can go back in and continue my studies. In the meantime well in limbo land I am not wasting a moment, I will go on building adventures and achieving dreams. If not in Australia, who knows maybe Bail!
I wanted to write this experience so people know not to give up on your dreams, you will manage in difficult times by going with the flow. The only person that can stop you achieving your goals are you. Hey, I am on a sun kissed beach living a life which cost 1/10 of what it does in Australia or the UK. Maybe its down to Karma telling me to take some time. Who knows.