HONOUR Announce top kink of UK

Honour is a well established adult brand and has been trading for 30 years. They focus on high quality products for all. They’re experienced in dealing with all sorts of kinks and provide great customer service. Bravo to Honour for making so many people across the country happy!

Read the full article today in The Sun with a map covering your area.


The best way to describe the attractiveness of the vagina v the penis.

Jennifer Lopez is one hell of a women, great looks, body to be envious of and as I recently found out she can describe the attractiveness of the vagina better than anyone I know.

Taken from her move Gigli she describes it as-

Their form. Neck. Shoulders. Legs. Hips. I think pretty cool. Now, as far as your famous penis goes, the penis is like some sort of bizarre sea slug or like a really long toe. I mean, it’s handy. Important even. But the pinnacle of sexual design? The top of the list of erotic destinations? I don’t think so. Ones first impulse is to kiss what? To kiss the lips. Firm, delicious lips, sweet lips, surrounding a warm, moist, dizzingly scented mouth. That’s what everyone wants to kiss. Not a toe. Not a sea slug. A mouth. And why do you think that is, stupid? Because the mouth is the twin sister, the almost exact look-alike of what? Not the toe. The mouth is the twin sister of the vagina. And all creatures big and small seek the orifice, the opening, to be taken in, engulfed, to be squeezed, lovingly crushed by what is truly the all-powerful, all-encompassing. No, if it’s design you’re concerned with, hidden meaning, symbolism, power, forget the top of Mount Everest, forget the bottom of the sea, the moon, the stars, there is no place nowhere that has been the object of more ambitions, more battles than the sweet sacred mystery between a woman’s legs that I am proud to call my pussy. So I guess this is just my roundabout way of saying that it is women who are in fact the most desirable form. Wouldn’t you agree?

This is a priceless quotation from one of the most stunning women of my time. I can imagine what you are visioning her doing, so please remember she is actress!

Unfortunately no matter how much it turned him on Jennifer Lopez experienced her first real heartbreak when the Academy Award winning actor and star of Gone Girl, Ben Affleck called off their very public engagement in January, 2004.

Read my article today in the Metro

Today in the metro I am giving our tips on great deep penetrative sexual positions and how they can help you conceive.


Say it as it is


I have been with my partner for 18 months, he’s 28 and I’m 21. Recently he has started mentioning adding stuff to our sex life such as masturbation in front of him and anal sex. I have been brushing it off when he mentions it as I feel embarrassed by it. I’m worried because I don’t know how to do any of it and I am scared its going to hurt. He has also become offensive about it when he’s had a drink by making comments that I am not very adventurous in bed and it makes me feel really pressurised. I’m not sure what to do as I feel if I don’t start adding things he will look elsewhere. What should I do?


Dear Tracey,

First off let me tell you so you can be assured your attitude is perfectly normal, however as for your partner he seems like he could do with a bit of a wake up call. A considerate worthy partner would never make you feel bad about not wanting to try something that is not regarded as regular sex in a relationship, especially when you are scared about it. Relationships should be built on respect, honesty, loyalty and supporting one another, if you feel this is the case then you need to speak up.

I suggest next time he mentions it,  you tell him about how you feel and not avoid the issue. I recommend doing this when he has not had a drink, also ask him why he always mentions it. You need to explain you are feeling uneasy about his attitude and its knocking your confidence, I know you say your embarrassed by it, but ignoring it is not the answer.

I can tell you many couples experiment with anal sex and masturbation as a way to enhance their sex life’s and enjoy it. Knowing how to do it is the key. Masturbation is something you can work on alone until your comfortable too share it with him. Anal sex is more  advanced and I would suggest reading up on it first, the main point for anal sex is to know that you are in control, its about you pushing back onto him and not him pushing in to you. Make it clear you are in control.

It would also be wise to mention to him that he needs to be more patient until your ready, and if he cant be patient to be quiet. Tell him you want to be with him but not under pressure and not with him insulting you. If he does not listen then maybe its time to let him go and find someone who is more compatible for both of you.


I hang around with a group of friends at college and I am totally loved up on his one guy in the group who has no idea I like him. We all hang out in the bars on the weekend and we talk a lot on the phone and on Facebook, we have flirted on nights out but nothing more. I really want to be with him but have been waiting months for him to ask me out but he hasn’t.  I’m not sure weather  to carry on waiting around for him ask me out of to just forget about him. Charlotte

Dear charlotte

Wake up lovely, we are in the 21st century, years after women fought for equal right’s as the men, and not so long since the spice girls released a song encouraging women to stand up and say “ I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want”.

Women have the right to ask men out just as men have been asking women for many years. Gone are the days of waiting around and praying you will be asked and putting your love life on hold until he asks you for a date, take the lead and ask him. Remember the saying “if you don’t ask you don’t get”.

Its not wrong, embarrassing or rare for women to to ask men out on dates or to be open with someone they admire, its one of the  most attractive factors a women has to offer, a female with confidence.

If you don’t ask you will never know, but you will always kick yourself and wonder in the future “what if?” if  you miss your chance.

Take control, ask, find out and don’t waste any days wondering, remember each day you don’t ask is a day not knowing,  and it could be potential day lost with someone you could be sharing it with.

Good luck, now go and ask him.


Dear Lianne

I am 21 and pregnant, the thing is I am not sure who the father is, it could be either of two guys. I have been online dating and have had several dates with two guys, not to be a serial dater more the fact its casual dating until I decide if I want to continue with one of them. I have always used condoms but on a couple of occasions they have split. I did take the morning after pill but it never worked. I’m 3 months pregnant and going to keep it. I only have contact with one of the guys now as the other has moved away. I need to get a DNA test from both, but the one that thinks he’s the father even though we are not even togeather is being really off and will not allow it, he just says he is the father and that’s it. I want the baby to grow up knowing the real father.


Dear chantelle

Congratulations. Firstly and let me reassure you,  you are not alone, and neither are you stupid for waiting to see how the dates developed to decide who to be with, too many people jump into relationships because they are given the ultimatum, its all or nothing. Decisions are then made on emotions and they can turn out to be disastrous relationships. I want to take my hat off to you for using condoms, even if they broke. You have tried all precautions to prevent this situation happening but sometimes they just happen. Embrace the fact your pregnant and your going to make it work, single parents are just as good as two parents, sometimes better. I was a single parent and it was healthier than being in a relationship with arguments around the children, and its wrong to force a relationship neither party wants to develop just for the sake of children.

Most importantly you need to find out who the father is before anything else, first off-the selfish one, who is not assisting you needs to be told no proof means you cant name him as the father, he needs to get a grip for the sake of the child and not take the attitude that he can just play the role. Anyone can father a child, only a real man makes a dad. If he sees himself as a decent man he needs to assist you with providing DNA.

The man that has gone away needs to be contacted or at least be made aware that he could potentially be a father. I know you say he has gone away but he is traceable, social media is amazing these days! You need to track him down and be honest with him, if he’s a real man he will assist in helping you. If not, you must try to work with the one who is at hand so you can find out which one is the father.

If this happened to me, I would meet the one who is refusing and get his DNA via his saliva or hair. You do have 6 months to go but you dont want to wait longer than you have too to sort this out . You can buy testing kits online, provide a sample and send it off when the baby is born. Its your peace of mind that’s at stake, and that of the child, I would make sure I got it.

Hopefully, he will see that the baby is most important than himself and work with you when the initial shock is over.

I wish you all the best, and hold you head high your going to be a great mum xx



Every Tuesday, Lianne at ‘House of Ardent’  will be cover subjects she has been asked over her many years as a sex, relationships and life adviser and mentor. ‘Truthful Tuesdays’ is an opportunity to address any questions you may have about sex, relationships, drugs – anything to do with life, really!

If you have any issues and want Liannes advice please email Lianne direct on: lianne@houseofardent.co.uk

The real A-Z of porno Lingo

I am asked more than most to help people understand the language used by the adult film industry. And I can understand why – it really is a different language, and the language of a fantasy world at that!

Seriously, my former career of more than 15 years ago is as far removed as you can be from my reality now.

It may surprise you to learn that I do not watch porn. Why? To be honest, because I am so critical of my former career, and of myself. I can tell you, if a scene is set up wrong, or the shot angle isnt right, or the editing is bad – I just cant help myself from becoming frustrated and expressing my opinion. I am a virgo woman after all!

And can you just imagine me watching porn with my partner I would be interrupting the whole film, telling him whats going to happen next. Seriously, one second the guy would have a boner and the next it would be as if I have popped a balloon. Poor bugger.

However, and with due modesty, I must admit I am fantastic at the talk. I am also the best at giving sex instructions. Just like most men would never consider giving up the driving seat, Im in charge between the sheets!

Having said that, I dont chat, or say the things I did on film. Can you imagine the look of horror on my partners his face if I suddenly started shouting Quicker babe, lets try an ATM, and you can see my gaper …”. No, thats not my way at all.

Because, of course, as you will understand, making love/sex/whatever you want to call it on the one hand, and porn on the other, are entirely different things. Porn has absolutely nothing to do with any of my serious relationships. And I dont think I have it in me to behave as I did when having sex on film Oh, ok, maybe I do!

So here you go, welcome to the porn lexicon – in alphabetical order, of course.

ATM: Ass to mouth. A mans dick comes out of your arse and straight into your mouth. Most people think this is dirty, but women in the industry always have an enema before an anal scene so its actually quite clean. If I saw even a speck of anything suspicious on a post-anal cock I wouldnt let it anywhere near my mouth.

Bukkake: In Japan this means splash. In the porn world it means a big group of guys jerking off on to a girls face. I always avoided this.

Champagne shower: Where a woman carefully removes the cork from a champagne bottle (any fizzy drink will do) and places the top end inside her at a fast pace so the champagne bubbles up inside her. When you remove the bottle it sprays like a fountain!

DP: Double penetration. This involves having sex with two men at the same time. While one has his cock in your vagina, the other has his in your arse. This can be agony if it isnt done in synch if one is going in as the others coming out, it can have a see-saw effect and it feels like being sawn in half. Id often shout Ooh, UGH!during DP to disguise the pain.

DPP: Double pussy penetration. This is where the woman is penetrated by 2 cocks in her vagina at the same time. Most male performers were not happy with this. Can be known as double vag, abbreviated from double vagina penetration

Enema: It is obviously really important to clean your bottom out before an anal scene. An enema is how to do so the most effectively. We used to use very diluted betadine with it so we knew we were completely disinfected.

Fisting: Inserting a whole hand into a womans vagina. This is illegal in porn. Youre allowed to insert four fingers at a time, but not the thumb.

Facial: Where the male performer ejaculates over the female performers face. So many men seem to desire this

Fluffer: A girl on set whos there to make sure the guys dicks stay hard during breaks in filming. An easy job because the guys always tell them exactly what they want. Fluffers are usually paid £150 a day I know, because I did this in between jobs, and its not on camera

Gaper: After around five seconds of anal sex, a producer might ask to see a gaper. By this time, a girls butt has opened quite a lot, so if the man withdraws, the butt hole is still quite open and the camera can see right into her arse. A big turn on for many, apparently. I hated it.

Gang bang: Where there are more than 4 people involved in a sex scene. I never took part in gang bangs. More than 2 is a waste.

Girlongirl: A lesbian scene. Im not gay. But I am openminded sexually, and I expect to have as good sex with a girl as I would a man on film. It really annoyed me when women used to just play act during girlongirl scenes because they come across false and, frankly, boring. You should give it your all during sex, any kind of sex.

Golden shower: Where either party urinates on the other. I found it near impossible to pee on camera. I dont know why.

Hardcore: Porn that shows deep penetration. And yes, we are really screwing on film. No camera trickery in the world can fake those shots, honey.

Hard sports: Some guys like girls to shit on them, or want to shit on girls. Hey, each to their own but its not for me. This is one of the things I always refused to do.

Inter-racial: Sex between a black man and a white woman. Some female performers refused to do this because they felt intimidated by the size of the cocks involved. They say this is a myth but believe me, Ive seen more than most and I can tell you its not. In the industry, black mens dicks are MASSIVE.

Jack off: When a man masturbates. Of course, this term is used in normal everyday life.

Kiss: The


Lianne: The name inevitably shouted loudly by the performer participating in a scene with me!

Money shot: When a man shoots his load at the end of the film.

Natural: Natural sex – sex without a condom. A minority of producers only produce films in which performers wear condoms. 99% of adult films are produced natural.

OMF: Open mouthed facial. When the male talent cums on the females face and she either swallows or blows bubbles with it.

Pop shot: Aka, the money shot. Basically when a man comes on-screen.

Pinky: When the shot shows the pussy lips open and you can see the pink of the vagina

Queen or Queenie: Often used to describe the actors in gay porn

Rimming: Licking a man or womans arse hole. Never a problem in the industry as the men keep themselves super clean. It’s actually ok with your partner just make sure its fresh out the shower.

Soft shot: Porn filmed without showing any penetration so it can be shown on satellite TV. BORING to perform, but as soon as youve shot soft you go on to shoot hard, and thats when I started to enjoy it.

Solo scene: A girl on her own filmed masturbating, often with sex toys. You have to have a fertile imagination to do this well because theres only so much you can do by yourself and convey via film. I got so bored doing it that I used to look around the room for any old objects to insert inside myself I cant even remember half of them now. It was important to learn how to look into the camera as if youre having sex with the person behind it and talk to them – like –I can feel you inside my warm, wet pussy right now. I wish you were here watching me fuck myself.That kinda stuff.

Stunt cock: Like having a dog and it’s not barking … another performer has to come in and take over. If there is no stunt cock available the usual fall back was castor sugar mixed with water and squeezed on set via a squeezy bottle.

Tromboning: Licking a mans butt hole and wanking him off at the same time.

Threesome: 3 people having sex.

Upskirt: When the camera is used as a peep show and the female is supposed to be caught in the act.

Vag Shot: Close up shot of the vagina for the viewer. Used in most films.

Water sports: Some guys love being urinated on by a girl. I did this on film but its more prevalent in escorting. Being paid to wee? That really is taking the piss.

X-rated: Used to make it obvious its a sex film. However, it could include a lot of todays regular tv now.

Yanking: Another word for male masturbation-wanking

Zero: Another word for the anus.

So, there you have it. I hope you enjoyed learning some porno language – if for no other reason than to help you understand how porn is nothing but fantasy – even if its a fantasy you might want to try with your partner some time and see who could be the better at it (go on, trust me, its hilarious