” I am a movie star, I have starred in over 100 blue movies before my retirement as a performer in 2001. Sure there are some similarities in my life style and that of Matt Damons character in “The Bourne Identity”. I have suffered many episodes of drunken amnesia and memory loss, I must also admit to having slept with a few government bodies in my time… but I have never been chased by the CIA. I am also very qualified in a more subjects besides sex.
My PA said to me this morning, she wants sex, she is yearning for it, she wants as much as she can possibly get and she wanted it now, in writing form of course. With my partner 12,000 miles away in Australia I need something to help me release tension mentally, the physical side I can do for myself. My PA is good, but I’m much better in this department!
Thousands of times I have been asked questions as one of the world’s former top porn stars, ones like, “What is it like being a known sex star? “- “Are you a sex addict?”-“Have you ever been in love” -“What about your kids?” and more often than not “Were you taking drugs when making movies?”
Serious, I am not a robot, I have emotions and feel pain the same as everyone else. I am however able to separate love and sex. This does not make me invisible.
Google searching myself is hilarious and entertaining, I love it. I have had to deal with a lot of critics. In march of this year I gave an interview to British tabloids covering my decision to become a porn star in my 20s, I openly said I felt it was a positive step for my children. The tabloids used the heading “Porn star who made over 100 mucky flicks says it was good for her children”. My movies were not mucky, they were bloody excellent!
Here are some questions I have answered on life as a former porn star and having a porn identity:
Why was it good for my kids? It made me happy in myself, so of course it was a good thing, it left me less stressed. It made life as a single mother easier as I was able to become a working single mother. It also gave me financial stability and self worth. It helped me feel and be financially independant, it helped me provide for them.
Did I provide for my kids? Yes, of course. In every way possible. I was a single parent and I done my best. My daughter lived with her father from aged 2 and my son lived with me. It was not a situation I wanted and my job helped me provide for both of them equaly.
Do they have morals and education? I would certainly hope so!
Would I let them be a porn star? I would do my best to put them off, it’s no longer a professional industry and there is no money to be made. I have supported them both in their choices and I will always look out for them. Its not my place to tell them what they can and cant do for themselves career wise, but I would advise against it.
Are they into drugs and wild sex? No, I don’t think so. My son is happy living quietly in Vancover and working. They have travelled, they have had education and they had a stern mother who made enough mistakes of her own to advice them and tell them what to avoid. You see being a porn star never made me less of a mother. It helped me be more educated on issues which would affect their lives.
What about your critics? Some home alone critic suggested I put down the porn industry on TV, they could not be further from the truth. I totally support the professional side of the adult porn industry, not that there is much left of it. I don’t support suitcase pimps and ass holes of the industry. Nor do I have any respect for any critic sat at home who judges me, then provides negative comments on my professional advice for TV shows to help others. Maybe, whoever critics me has gone deaf, not just blind from too much wanking. The only thing I will always be is 100% honest.
Why a porn star? Let me explain, I look at things differently, I realised at a young age if we were clones of one another the world would be a bloody boring place . My decision to be a porn star was based on business, one of financial gain and development. I had a 2 year plan, I wanted to move away from my small town in Bristol to London. I wanted to get myself off and out of the council system. I lived off benefits as a single parent and I wanted more for myself. Did I expect anyone else to pay for my dreams to be turned into reality, no, I wanted to do that for myself. I was very happy to put in the hard graft and do it for myself. Did I like sex more than anything else, if I’m honest, yes!
That’s where it started, with a dream and some passion. I knew I had the skills to make money from the worlds biggest industry, I knew sex sold everything. I began by writing a 2 year business plan covering finances and marketing and I made a start. It really was that simple.
What made the difference is 18 years ago it was pre-internet. There was money to be made unlike today. The salary was very attractive, some weeks I easily made $10,000 depending on what, or when I choose to work. Did my business plan work? You bet it did. Did I sleep myself to the top of my work place? Damn right I did, I was supposed too. Unlike many other people in regular jobs.
What now, what is life like after porn? I used my infamous label to help others. I have helped people of all ages from teens to married women on sex, relationship and confidence issues. I learned the practical sides of sex from being a porn actress, then I got qualified in the theory side of things via the family planning association. I have a strong belief that ex sex-workers, the ones that have the highest personal hygiene and top knowledge covering sex and sexual health should be teaching sex education. Recently Italian Porn star Rocco Siffredi has came out and offered to help educate Italian schools on sex education. Look at it this way, he know’s more than most. I have a joint venture “House of Ardent” which I use as a platform to advise, educate and help others on all things concerning sex and relationships and how to get through lifes hurdles. Trust me, I have survived all of them,
How do you cope with negative comments? Many people, on many occasions have labelled me, some have been damn right nasty and vicious, some have called me disgusting names and others have used me for blame and excuses to protect themselves. Quite honestly I no longer give a damn, nor will I. They can accuse me and say whatever they like, most don’t even know me and none of them have ever offered to pay my bills. Too many people judge others and that’s never going to change, I just feel sorry for them. It used to really hurt me and leave me feeling worthless. I went through intense therapy at 30 years of age, not because of having been a porn actress, but because of some people who had tried to destroy me with thier beliefs of how I should have been living. I had to suffer mental and emotional abuse because I put myself and my own needs first, and not theirs. Everyone has a right to be themselves.
How do women view you? When I first started my career in porn, many women would grab their boyfriends and partners by the arm the minute I walked through the doors of a bar/club. They seriously thought I would want to fuck their partners! And for nothing? The worse part about it was they obviously never trusted their partners, that’s sad being with someone you dont trust. Take it from me, it is not a porn star or any sex worker they should be worried about-sex workers do not give out free sex! There are a lot of people going out and getting drunk and giving it away freely, that’s who they should worry about. On occasion it did piss me off enough to say “ look darling I don’t want your man, but when you sleep with him tonight he will be thinking of me”. I gave as good as I got.
How did you become good at sex ? Honestly I have no idea, I just knew I liked it! I openly admit to having experimented, and I had friends with benefits before porn, I will always say “porn never made me, I made porn.”. I was tested regularly and I would turn up for work everyday, I always used protection and no one was getting hurt. The hilarious part about when I choose to be a single parent, was my ex saying “you will never find sex as good I gave it to you?” yeah right, he had never even given me an orgasm! So I proved him wrong and became the Porn Queen of England. I should thank him.
Of course, if I wanted to be a porn star today I would go into the “Big Brother house” and be a sub standard porn star, not tested, no protection and not get paid for it! However I will leave it to them to make porn stars look educated! Im happy of my 4 years involoved in the industry during my 20s, both as a perfomer and manager. I helped many well known faces get treated correctly, get paid what they deserved and not over work. I also helped them rebuild their lives after.
So did you enjoy your work? Damn right I did, I got to sleep, well have sex with some of the best performers in the world who were attractive and with bodies to die for. It also made me look after myself and stay healthy and in shape, I had to maintain a perfect size 10. Did I ever get forced to do anything against my will? Yeah right, I am Lianne Young- would you try making me do something I don’t want to do, the answer is no.
Did you do drugs to get through work? No bloody way, when I was performing I had to be in fantastic shape. I ate well, I trained hard and I looked after myself. If not I would have been out of work. The Industry may have a label as being full of drugs, however in all my time as a performer and talent manager I never once saw drugs, not on set, or did I see any performer high on drugs. Did I see it in my regular jobs after porn? Yes I did, it was everywhere.
Many people have perceptions because they don’t understand the real porn industry, or what it used to be like. Many say we are fucked up characters , it’s more likely those saying this that are messed up. If you don’t understand something, don’t judge it. Ask questions instead. You will be pleasantly surprised how intelligent the industry used to be. As for the industry today I would not go near it.
Do I mind being recognised as someone who had sex on film? No, not at all, it partly made me who I am today and it helped me become a businesswoman. I have learned all about independence and self discovery along the way. It also helped me turn all my dreams into reality. Why would I mind being recognised. I will never hide from my past, its part of me. I just asked to be respected. I have helped many people and I will continue to do so.
Did it mess me up emotionally in any way? No it never, it showed me how small minded and crawl some people can be from so called normal lives. Negative comments, feedback and remarks online leave me with nothing but a smile now. It informs me I have had an impact on their lives, I hope they use it too, to have as much fun as I have!
So what does it fee like to have A Porn Idenity?
Its ace, why else do you think I always have a smile on my face.
Interview conducted by Tomera Rodgers.